End of January 2025

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 151.9| IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

Closing down the month and really not sure how I’m feeling. Mainly disappointed I guess. I’m sick - again. Sniffles, bad cough and an upset stomach. The upset stomach might be because I’ve been adding sugar free syrups to my protein pudding and possibly the maltitol has got me – I won’t have one today and see what’s happening. Apart from the hospital, I haven’t been anywhere this month to catch another leurgy and Book_grim hasn’t been to work this week, so no idea where I got this one. Le sigh, I guess it is what it is.

Overall, I’ve lost 3.8 kg this month which is a disappointment. I know I shouldn’t complain – I am losing weight but I can’t help but wish it was happening faster. I want to take some photos tomorrow as the first of the month but I don’t have much hope for seeing any real progress. I was reading some posts on Reddit and a couple of people said that you lose the fat around your organs before you lose visceral fat but I’m not sure that applies to me because of losing the 100 lbs before surgery. Either way, sometimes I find myself wondering if I should have just stuck with Ozempic.

I know my perceptions are tainted by watching things like My 600lbs Life where they easily drop 30 – 50 lbs a month, as well as the fact that they are starting at a much higher weight than me but it’s still a bit disheartening. In a bizarre attempt to make me be logical (does she even know me?!) Jay reminded me of three things:

1 - that's over 8lbs

2 - you don't weigh anywhere near 600lb

3 - you have limited mobility

So, yes, she’s right about all of those things but my brain refuses to hear any of them because I think I just want to sulk before I get back to sticking to the rules and letting it work for me.

Book_grim was in a lot of pain this morning, so I suggested muscle rub, an electric blanket and a heat pack, painkillers and finally getting stoned so that she can fall asleep. Possibly not typical maternal advice, but hopefully she’ll wake up later feeling a bit better.

I got a chunk of sleep again last night. Went to sleep around 10.30 and woke up around 7.45 when my stomach upset made me get up, so I’m wide awake when the rest of the house is fast asleep! I’ve already done my squardle, posted my monthly book reviews and am now contemplating adding to the story I started yesterday. I don’t think it’s going to be a long one – I don’t think I have a long fic in me at the moment – but it’s nice to be feeling creative again.

Right, let me see if I can get another chapter out and then I might return to the fiendish jigsaw – we made good progress on it yesterday and I think it might be finished by the end of the weekend!

saying goodbye to 2024 in a much better place than this time last year!

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 155.6|

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Day 2

New Year’s Eve, traditionally a time of making resolutions so here’s mine. I want to commit to following the rules and instructions that my bariatric team give me as much as I am able to give this the absolute best chance of working for me. I have my first follow-up medical appointment next Monday so I want to make notes on questions that I might have. I know that I have blood tests following the group meeting and they should be able to let me know if I should be trying harder with regard to the vitamins, etc. I’m not so much worried about weighing in because when I spoke to the nurse, he said that there were no weight goals to meet for this first meeting.

I have the round up of my figures for 2024 from Libra and they look pretty good.

Obviously it shows my highest weight from November 2023 which was 207.7 kg but it just makes me realise how far I’ve come. I’ve lost over a quarter of my original start weight which is crazy to me, and I know that if I follow instructions and do what I am meant to do, I can achieve similar success in 2025. I don’t want to set unrealistic expectations – the surgery is meant to assist you in losing 60-70% of your excess weight, but even so, it should make a huge difference to my life.

I’m making the transition to normal food – yesterday I had half of a ready-meal fish pie (more like a third) but that should also help making food choices easier. So far today, I’ve only had a scrambled egg but I didn’t go to sleep until something like 8 am so I started the day late! I tried to dye my hair coral peach but apparently the purple is too strong, so I am starting the new year with frosted purple hair. I’m okay with that – in fact, I’m feeling okay about a lot of things.

For anyone reading this, I can honestly say that I don’t regret using Ozempic despite all of the side effects I suffered through and I don’t regret the surgery. I am still struggling on occasion – the mind stuff is such a head-fuck – and I know I will have struggles ahead, but I truly do feel like I made the right choice for me. I am sat here wearing size 4x trousers (down from 8x) and a size 24/26 vest top when normally I would be wearing a size 30/32. That is an achievement in and of itself.

I have no idea if I will be writing as much of the daily stuff – I think I needed to get my thoughts out a lot more over the last couple of months but presumably things will calm down. Either way, I can heartily recommend a blog or diary to help you look back on how things really were rather than distorted by lack of memory, as well as helping me see how far I have come. Tomorrow I want to do ribbon measurements (where you use lengths of ribbon to do your body measurements and then on a monthly basis to see the difference and not rely on a tape measure. I also want to do my monthly photos and I might start compiling those to see what the before and during photos look like.

I also want to take down my Christmas tree and try to restore my bedroom to something resembling normality. I sent back a few things that I’d ordered from SimplyBe because I didn’t need them and was just spending money for the sake of it. I want to start saving my money so that if I get PIP, I can get a Motability car and use the money for any Advance Payment.

I am grateful for the surgery; for the assistance given to me, especially by Violet in Endocrinology; how much support and love I have received from friends like Sare and Jay; but most importantly from Stripes, Book_grim and the Oldest. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for them and I am unendingly grateful for having them in my life.

So that’s me, signing off for 2024 and looking forward to 2025.

Post Surgery Four Week Round Up

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 155.8|

Mashables/Soft Foods Week⟫ Day 7

Time Since Surgery⟫ 4 Weeks

I decided to do a bit of a round up of things since the surgery. It’s a little more than four weeks post-op – more like 31 days.

When I went in for surgery, I weighed in at 164.4 kg and this morning I weighed in at 155.8 kg which means I’ve lost 8.6 kg since the operation. I have read about people losing more than that and am trying not to be too disappointed. In fact, I feel like I should be pleased but I also know that my head is a messed up place. I’ve lost 39.2 kg in 2024 which is pretty impressive since I didn’t have the surgery until the end of November.

Today for the first time I took a gabapentin and a duloxetine as a capsule and kept it down. This may be a bit of a game-changer for me as I have been struggling with taking the gabapentin dissolved in liquid – the taste stays in my mouth, makes me feel sick and makes it difficult to have anything else. I am also hopeful that I can get into a proper routine with my antidepressants now that it appears I can take them whole, which can only be helpful. I’m not going to try to do all of my medicines in solid form because I don’t think my stomach will handle that at the moment, but it is definitely a step forward.

Food-wise, I’m not quite where the bariatric bible says I should be. I’m doing a weird mix of puree and mashables – I had scrambled egg for breakfast but didn’t manage to eat all of it; smoothies don’t seem to be working for me at the moment; the chicken stew that Stripes made during puree week stays down and is good; things seem variable but I’m okay with that. I’m not expecting textbook, just progress. Drinking my water from my bottle with a straw does seem to mean that I am drinking more, and having put my protein water in there today I am feeling quite positive that I am going to finish at least 500 ml which is an achievement.

Sleep-wise, things are weird. Sleeping sitting up seems to be better for my stomach in terms of discomfort, but I definitely sleep better on my side lying down. I got some thermal socks because my feet felt like they were constantly freezing and that has definitely helped. The last couple of days, I’ve gone to bed around 2 am and slept through until 6 am when I need the bathroom, then I fall asleep again and don’t wake up again until sometime in the afternoon. The same sort of thing happened today but I woke up at 11 am, then crashed out until mid-afternoon. The thing is, I wake up feeling so weary! And if I’ve found my way off of the mountain of pillows to sleep on my side, my stomach feels like my insides have been through a tumble drier, which makes it harder to eat anything.

Stripes did make the point that Christmas is always a time of upheaval with bad sleeping, disruption, etc so I can’t fully blame the surgery for that. I think what I want to do is honour what my body is telling me – if it’s tired, then go to sleep even if it’s 11 am in the morning. I don’t have any appointments until 6th January so there’s plenty of time for me to ‘catch up’ on all the sleep I’ve missed. It doesn’t help that I still haven’t managed to kick this cold/sneezing thing.

I did some shopping at SimplyBe and ordered an oversized teddy bear fleece jumper dress. It’s lovely and soft, a gorgeous winter white colour but I may have overestimated the size. Book_grim fits into it with me and Stripes got a fabulous photo of the two of in it! I’m keeping it but will be sending back the fancy dress I ordered before Christmas as well as the cherry-red Mary Jane shoes. I was pleased that the size 9 fit me and seem comfortable but I have to be honest and admit I can’t think of where I would wear them. It makes more sense to send the back than to have the just cluttering up the place.

Once I get to six weeks post-op, I want to start using my resistance bands every other day but in the meantime I try to make sure I do a wander around the flat every now and then. Sometimes it feels like I’m dragging but other times I feel almost spritely. There have been a couple of times when I’ve got light-headed and felt like I’m going to pass out. That could be the lack of food or just the vertigo rearing it’s ugly head, so I shall keep an eye on that. I also want to start compiling a list of questions that I want to ask at my appointment on 6th, like when I should start taking the vitamins, when I should be able to return to all my medicines in solid form, that kind of thing.

There is a part of me that still can’t believe I actually did it – I underwent surgery and made it out the other side. The incisions are healing nicely, although there might be a bit of a keloid on a couple of them. And so far I haven’t done anything monumentally stupid in terms of forcing food or doing too much (after the initial few days when Stripes had to tell me off), so yeah me!

Tonight I think we’re going to try to watch the Gavin and Stacey Finale and maybe Wallace and Gromit. Tomorrow, Stripes has ED Counselling so she has spent today working through the stuff she was given; Book_grim is going for a sleep-study so will be sleeping at the hospital, and then on Tuesday night she’s working New Year’s Eve.

September 2024 Round Up!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 172.8 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

The end of another month and I’m down another 1.5 kgs. I’m a little disappointed because I did see a lower weight earlier in the month, but overall I’m glad to see the month end in a deficit.

There’s a lot going on in my head at the moment. Predominantly, the PIP review and what it could mean for me and the family financially. Of course, there are so many other things going on as well. Stripes’ ED counselling is coming to an end and I know that represents a huge challenge for her and I am concerned. Especially as it comes at the end of a difficult year.

I did manage to do quite a few things this month. I finally sorted out the sofa for my bedroom and it’s a big hit with not only the cats, but the girls look more comfortable as of an evening too. I think I still need to do a little shifting round of my bedroom as I know if you sit one end of the sofa, it can be difficult to see the whole television screen.

I sorted through my wicker basket and got rid of some old pyjamas and made it easier to find my clothes for the odd occasions when I go out. It’s not as tidy now as it was when I first did it, but I want to try to keep on top of it so it doesn’t just because a slightly elevated version of a floor-drobe!

I’ve written the most words this month for the year – something like 36k – which I am pleased with. Finding a prompt table as well as some base art that sparked my imagination was really rewarding.

I’ve consistently been doing the resistance bands every other day since I received them. I am in SO MUCH pain with them. The top of my butt aches constantly and apparently I do have a core even though it’s weak af and struggling with the new demands on it. I want to continue to incorporate them into my routine but I also want to make sure that I don’t go overboard. No point going HAM one day and then being crippled for a week.

Still haven’t made a final decision regarding my hair. At the moment, I’ve cut it into a short bob which ends up in a messy bun on top of my head. It means it’s out of the way and neat and I don’t have to make decisions about shaving it. I have some curly hair that I should be able to do the same with so that gives me some breathing space.

I bought a poop step to see if it will help with the constipation. It’s weird to use – I end up having to strip off my pyjamas bottoms so that there’s nothing dragging on the floor or distracting me. I can’t say if it’s helped with the constipation as yet – it needs a bit more testing! It definitely puts the body into the correct position for easy evacuation (is there a nice way of putting that?) but it’s hard to see the results clearly.

So what do I want to achieve in October?

⟫ It might be a big ask but not only would I love to see the 160s but I would really love to not see the 170s again. Which is about 3 kgs which a big ask.

⟫ Less chocolate, more protein.

⟫ Consistent use of the resistance bands.

⟫ Sort out my bedroom floor on the right side of my bed.

⟫ Ask the council for a grab rail for in the toilet in the hallway. I used it over the weekend and struggled to get up safely. Actually, NSV that I’ve literally just realised – I was able to get in and out of the small bathroom toilet without mega manoeuvring required!

⟫ Sort out the small bundle of clothes sat in the cat room. I think they are mostly mine, probably folded once they came off of the washing machine but just not put away. So that should be an easy win. Should being the operative word!

I don’t think I need to titrate up for the moment, but I do need to analyse what’s going on with my eating. One meal a day has turned into one meal plus a whole heap of snacks which might be why the numbers went up at the end of the month.

Overall I would say September has been a good month, even if the numbers aren’t as low as I would like them to be.

UnFuck My Habitat and into September!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 174.3 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Officially end of the month and it looks like an overall loss of 2.10 kgs, which brings me to 33.3 kgs lost since I started. I know I should be pleased with that – the chart below (as long as it works) shows that I am consistently losing. I guess I just want to lose faster maybe?

Friday and Stripes asked me what I wanted to eat. I think I am either self-sabotaging or trying to punish myself/kick off my IBS because not only did I decide to have a MacDonalds meal, I had a strawberry milkshake and a Mcflurry. The stupidity of it blows my mind even now, but I just wanted them. And I know I’m going to suffer – me and lactose are not friends at the best of times, but a milkshake on top of a Mcflurry is just insanity – but I ate it all. Maybe I was hoping for a clear out? I find my brain so confusing – I kinda enjoyed the food and definitely noticed I was eating slower. It was the only food I ate that day (apart from the weed-required Doritos) so I don’t think I went over any calorific goals I might have had. But the damage of having to hit the bathroom – which I know is coming because I took my jab this morning – makes me wonder if I’m just a masochistic twat.

I want to try to unfuck my habitat. I found a subreddit where people encourage you to clean up your living area, post pictures and ideas. I’ve already ordered the sofa but have also ordered a shoe rack to go into the cat-room. The idea is that myself and Stripes can put our shoes away in there, clearing some way in our own rooms and making good use of the space. Gidget has her own shoe rack – we were going to repurpose hers because she said she wasn’t using most of it but then we had a look and she was way more shoes than she realised and is pretty much using the whole thing!

Over the weekend, I want to go through my wicker basket of underwear and pyjamas, get rid of anything ratty and/or old, and Marie Kondo what’s left so it’s easy to see what I have. It should also make it easier for putting away clothes when the washing is done. It shouldn’t be a huge task, and I’ve already decided I can put one of my fleece blankets on top of it to keep it clean/finish off the look.

I need to ask Stripes to take face photos tomorrow, marking the first of the month. I asked Lophy when she came to visit if she could see any difference in me. I guess I was hoping for an over-enthused hell yeah, but she was honest and said she could see it in my face. That’s good – it means it’s working. But I was disappointed. I was hoping someone who doesn’t see me that often would say they could see something more than just a change in my face. I guess that’s difficult because I wear the same clothes, am sitting in bed – how do you see a difference in someone if you can’t see most of them? I need to learn to manage my expectations and also look for what difference I can see – after all, I’m the only person with me 24/7 so I need to become comfortable within myself instead of looking for external validation. Hark at me sounding so mature and balanced!

September then.

⟫ Clean my bedroom, including the floor and under the bed;

⟫ new face photos;

⟫ Mantra work;

⟫ look into seated workouts on YouTube;

⟫ get this report to the police with Gidget;

⟫ start saving for Christmas;

⟫ declutter my clothes rail.

And work on my gratitude – there are so many people who don’t have Ozempic to help them, so many people struggling the way I was struggling and I feel like I’m being ungrateful for what I have achieved and the fact that I can keep going. I have the side effects mainly under control – very little in the way of constipation throughout August – I just need to keep seeing the bigger picture and remind myself once again that’s it a marathon not a sprint.

There’s a reason why I keep writing ‘1 kilo at a time’.

Did YOU know that rhubarb ferments?!!!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 176.7 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Did you know that rhubarb ferments like grapes because I sure as hell didn’t! For some reason on Friday/Saturday, I decided I really wanted fruit crumble – get more fruit in to make up something resembling my five a day. I had some on Sunday and Monday – Sunday I felt my stomach twisting up like it had the week before when I had the d&v but we didn’t put it together until last night after I had my dessert. So that’s another fruit off the list and my numbers have shot up with water retention so it doesn’t look like July is gonna be my month for mega-losses.

The sulphur burps are driving me insane today as I constantly feel like I’m going to throw up and my sleep isn’t very good either because I’m too scared to use my CPAP mask whilst burping like this in case I throw up whilst wearing it. So, yeah, I’m feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself.

It’s a writing day so time to wrap up the month of July – not sure I’ve got a lot to say because I don’t feel like I’ve achieved very much this month. Looks like I’ve lost 2kg over the course of the month which is pretty pitiful. Okay, positive hat on. That’s 2kg less than I weighed last month and I still have tomorrow’s weigh in.

⟫ I’ve learned of two fruits that I can’t eat which means, all being well, I won’t suffer through this again;

⟫ I weigh less than I did last month, even if it’s just 2 kg;

⟫ Roughly half a kilo per week works out at an average loss of between 1-2 lbs which is what I should be aiming at for steady loss;

⟫ the tattoos on my thighs are sitting differently because of weight loss – that’s the only explanation I can make for it anyway;

⟫ I’m still doing this – it’s seven months into the year and I am still doing this. I can’t think of the last time I stuck to trying to lose weight for this length of time so I should be proud of myself. Not to mention that it hasn’t always been easy with side effects and real-life getting in the way;

⟫ I missed my diabetic follow up phone call with the doctor’s surgery but they haven’t called back so is it safe to assume that my numbers are doing okay?

⟫ I did more mantra work although I still need to have a go at the letters they suggest writing. But that means I’m still doing the head work.

That’s not a bad round up!

Up to 1mg I go

29/06/24

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 178.2 | MGW ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Okay, so I got a little distracted and forgot to post what I wrote yesterday! I gave myself the jab last thing last night and for perhaps the first time, it hurt! I don’t know if it was because I had to have the needle in my arm for longer to administer the dose or what, but for the first time I could have told you exactly where I injected myself in my arm without looking – it stung and was painful and I am not a fan. I vaped my weed at bedtime and had my crisps and felt a little – off is the only way to describe it but I wasn’t sick so I pushed it out of my head.

Today – I can’t say this morning because I didn’t get to sleep until after 5 am and woke up around 2 pm – and I wasn’t hungry in the slightest. Now, this could just be because sometimes the weed muffles my ability to figure out what I’m feeling. I was snuggled up with Gidget when my stomach began grumbling loud enough for me to feel a little embarrassed, but bearing in mind the last thing I ate was crisps around 2 am, that’s a chunk of time without eating. Anyway, I’ve had porridge and it was a little difficult finishing it all. It’s sitting a little heavy as well and the honey has left a weird taste in my mouth. I wouldn’t say I feel sick exactly – just nauseous I guess?

Obviously, this time I’m going to be much more aware of the side effects than I was when I initially did Trulicity and Ozempic which is a good thing. Maybe then I can figure out how to make it work harder for me!

~ ~ ~ ~ + ~ ~ ~ ~

28/06/24

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 178.7 | MGW ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic: ⟫ 0.5 mg

Today is my last day on 0.5 mg – tonight I take the first of the 1mg jab and I must admit, I am a little worried. The scales are slowly dropping again which of course has me wondering whether I should stick with 0.5. But thinking it through properly, titrating up is a good move and will hopefully kickstart things moving again.

Today, I’ve had porridge with granola and oat milk for breakfast, and am having cheese and onion pasties for dinner. I have Exante shakes to use if it turns out that I can’t eat initially on the 1 mg so I’m not too worried about that. I have no plans for the weekend so if I end up living in the bathroom, that will be okay too.

I guess it’s time for a round up. I started Ozempic on/around 1st February and since then I have lost 16.8 kgs, which brings my loss total up to 29 kgs since I started using semaglutides back at the beginning of December. Roughly 4 kgs per month, which is a decent rate of loss I guess. This last month, June, has been up and down with what looks like a net loss of absolutely zero. Okay, I have two days left in the month but still, I can’t see anything amazing happening in that time.

The next stage is here, along with all of the home stuff that is going on and I really want to make sure that I continue to prioritise myself in all of this – I really want to keep working with the Ozempic, accepting losing weight, and working on the head stuff. Let’s see how great I can make the second half of the year!

Oh yeah, I need to make sure that I allow for the weed munchies. I’m vaping in the evening to alleviate the pain in my knees, but it often means that around bedtime I find myself needing something crunchy. So maybe I should save a bag of crisps as a planned treat to deal with that. I also want to get back into a decent sleep pattern – blimey, July is gonna be a month to do some real work on myself!

May 2024 Round Up

02/06/24 SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 178.3 | MGW ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic: ⟫ 0.5 mg

Well, it feels like May was a bit of a roller-coaster. I find myself wondering once again whether it’s time to make a doctor’s appointment and ask to titrate up to the next level. I don’t feel the appetite suppression anywhere near as strongly as I had been previously and my concern is that the scales will continue to creep up if I don’t act proactively. The fear of the side effects of moving up does give me pause – that and how difficult it can be to get a doctor’s appointment.

This weekend was perhaps not the best test of how things are. Stripes went away with her father’s family so Gidget came home to look after me, make sure I was regularly fed and watered. I also got to meet their new partner, and we spent the day playing exploding kittens, cards against humanity and little big planet. I ate – not incredibly badly all things considered, but there was definitely an aspect of nervous eating. Also, Gidget is not used to cooking for me so we both were feeling our way through things.

I had cheesecake, McDonald’s fries, my current obsession which is scampi, but I didn’t really have any sweets and only a couple of packets of crisps. Last night I paid for the dairy and an expulsion of everything that had been hanging around and it was less than pleasant. I have also gone down with the Gidget flu (i.e. they brought all of their germs with them when they came to stay), so I’ve been sneezing, coughing and basically blowing my nose constantly since Friday.

My monthly weight loss for May was minus 2.2 kgs according to my tracker, which although not bad isn’t exactly stellar. I am also up from my lowest low which saw me reach 30 kgs off.

I have a tattoo appointment at the end of this week, but I think I will try to get in to see the doctor. I hate how ad-hoc this all is – there is no guidance, no supervision, just – here, take these jabs and off you go. So checking in can only be a good thing. I don’t think that I’m due new bloods for a little while so it’s hard to tell what effect Ozempic is having on my A1C but I hope it’s positive when it does happen.

Stripes is back later tonight and I will try to do a food shop to make sure there are the decent choices I had been making. I can’t remember if I mentioned the leak through the roof from the other night. Not our upstairs neighbours but the ones above them had a leak from their washing machine which made its’ way down to our flat. We had to take the curtains down in my room, put towels onto the cat tree and top of the sofa, as well as the cat tree in the cat-room. I need to take photos so that I can put a claim in for compensation. I’m just really glad that we hadn’t ordered/received the new sofa because I would have been pissed.

So as a round up, my head is still a messed up place, the scales are moving down slowly and I think I have finally made the decision that it is time to move up to the next level of Ozempic. I am still hopeful that I can keep doing this but slightly apprehensive about titrating up. I guess it depends on how long it takes to get a doctor’s appointment now.

End of March and into Spring

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 183.1 ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Firstly, how the heck have I got ezcema on my eyelids? It is so freaking irritating – I constantly want to be raking at them, which of course makes it worse. I’ve tried eye ointment with no success apart from making my eyes feel greasy. I’ve checked the internet (much easier than trying to get a dr’s appointment) and apparently I can use my hydrocortistone cream 1% or vaseline safely on my eyelids so from tomorrow, that’s what I’ll be doing.

Shocked to see that the scales have maintained their downward trend – I really thought seeing 183 was a flash in the pan. I should be pleased but instead I’m just kinda confused. I can’t see any real changes. Both Stripes and Grim have told me they can see it in my face, particularly around my jawline, but I just can’t see it.

So, yep hold your breath – here are two photographs of my face side by side.

I never realised how careful I was to not keep any photographs of my face until I tried to find one that I could do a decent side-by-side comparison collage. I finally found one from when I started back in November ‘23 because you could see my whole face, complete with extra chins, etc whereas the latest photos are either upside down (I discovered that taking a photo upside down gave me a very sharp jawline and some cheekbones!), or slanted to such a degree that you can’t see my whole face. Apparently I’m a master of hiding from the camera even whilst taking photos!

I think I can see the difference – I’m pretty sure I can see the difference – but then again, maybe that’s because I’m searching desperately for some visible changes? I know it’s going to take a long, long while before I will see a difference in my body, despite it being over 50 lbs down. But I guess I kinda hoped to see more in my face? I dunno – maybe I’m expecting too much.

Either way, this is the last day of March which means I’ve been doing this whole semaglutide thing for just under six months. It’s definitely working, even if sometimes it feels like I’m only losing weight because I’m pooping it out. I was chatting to a friend and asking if I’ve become one of those evangelical people who have ‘seen the light’ and go on and on about how I am losing weight and she said, yeah, just a little. So I need to be more careful about that because I know just as well as any other fat person that until you’re ready, it doesn’t matter who’s preaching to you about what’s working, it won’t make a blind bit of difference.

I’ve kept down two slices of toast and a small frozen fish pie and am feeling pretty darn perky considering it’s 7 a.m. in the morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I will definitely be catching a major nap today as Stripes is going out for coffee so I don’t have to feel guilty for being a slug-a-bed and not keeping her company. Actually, I’ve just realised the clocks went forward so to my body, it’s only 6 a.m. so that might explain the perkiness!

I finished yet another one of the ARCs in my TBR pile and have three/four left to read but I am ahead of schedule so have caught up from being ill. I had a shower, did a foot pack, moisturised the bits I could easily find – yep, I think I’m heading into Spring doing relatively the best that I can.

Should I be setting a mini goal for April? I want to lose the next 10% which would take me down to 168 kg, but should there be an interim mini goal? I could aim for 60lbs off I suppose, which would be 27.2 kg – am I aiming too low? Should I say I want to lose 5 kgs in April or just see where things go. I think I’ll revisit this when it’s not ass-o’clock in the morning. And possibly after I’ve had another look at the mantra stuff. I don’t want to inadvertently trip myself up!

January 2024 Round Up

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 195.7 ⟫ 186.93

Drug Plan:⟫ Ozempic 0.5 mg

Another month over and time for a bit of a round-up. The constipation issue is still causing problems – I did manage to ‘go’ but was disappointed as I still feel rough as balls and over-full. I am also still struggling with cravings for sweet things, generally eating stuff that I haven’t eaten for quite some time and way too much of it.

I guess it could be stress – stuff always going on in my head whether it’s about what’s happened in the recent past, something I’m dreading for the future, or simply my brain doing weird and wonderful things. I just wish I could have remained in that Trulicity head-space. I wonder if maybe I’m psyching myself out? I took my second Ozempic injection today – definitely did it correctly as there was the teeniest, tiniest spot of blood at the injection site, so I guess that’s reassuring inasmuch as I appear to be doing that correctly.

I’ve asked Stripes to empty the fridge in my room of all the little treats I’d stashed in there – hopefully that will stop any late night snacking or at least make me think about it properly first rather than giving in to impulse.

I’m also considering taking some photographs. The thought actually makes me feel more than a little sick, but one of the best ways to see results is to take photos that you can compare things to. Maybe I’m feeling nauseous at the thought in case these turn into yet another set of photos of when I started something that I failed to finish? On the other hand, it would be really cool if I could see myself develop Ozempic face? I have seen some really cool progress photos that other people have posted that demonstrate this so clearly and would love to see if that happens for me.

I’m trying to be more positive – both in my head and out loud – but I’m not sure how well I’m doing at that. There is a lot of negative self-talk in my head that I struggle to block out, and now that I’ve done a week of Ozempic and seen no weight loss, the little voice is having a field day telling me that I might as well give up, that it’s obvious Ozempic isn’t going to work for me, that I’m just being lazy and should eat less, do more (those words should be tattooed onto the forehead of every Doctor in my life who’s told me it’s that simple and I should be able to do it so that they can SEE them every single day, the same way they live rent-free in my head).

Positives:

⟫ I made it through week one of Ozempic with minimal side effects;

⟫ Although the scales haven’t moved downwards, they haven’t moved upwards either;

⟫ I’m grateful that my GP was willing to prescribe Ozempic and give me the opportunity to continue on this journey with its’ assistance;

⟫ I recognise the temptation of the things I chose to put into my fridge and am taking action to remove that temptation;

⟫ my nails are growing strong!

Moving in to February, I need to show more gratitude, be more aware of the things I say in my head, and make better food/snack choices – I have my birthday to celebrate but apart from that, I can’t think of any big ‘social’ events that require food-thought/preparation. Overall, January has gone well and I am grateful for that.