Pre-Op Diet Day 11 and Working through issues

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 164.8 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg | Pre-op Diet:⟫ Day 11

Well, I finally crashed around 8.15 am and slept through until this afternoon. Watched the latest episode of ‘From’ with Stripes and now contemplating what we’re going to do with the evening.

I still feel like a failure – I was explaining what’s happening to Gidget and I could feel my body language turning sheepish/ashamed – I wish I could figure this shit out. Stripes and Gidget had the idea of ordering some of the soups instead so I’ve gone onto the New You site and have ordered 18 soups so I can have a shake, soup and small meal until surgery date.

I’m actually too scared to have a shake right now in case it kicks off the diarrhoea again, which is counter productive. I think I’m going to have my ‘meal’ with Stripes when she eats, then risk the shakes later. Maybe even just have one? And if that works, do the same tomorrow but aim for the two shakes. Hopefully the soups, etc will turn up at least by Wednesday and I can go from there.

We are going to email the dietician to ask for advice – just to be sure that I’m doing the right thing. That reminds me, I need to write the email out and ask Stripes if she thinks I’ve added everything important.

Okay – email written and sent to Stripes for her opinion. I think I need to guzzle some water until dinner time then take the evening one step at a time. Until I hear back from the bariatric dietician, I think I’m going to do one meal and a shake – that way, hopefully, the diarrhoea won’t be too bad and even if it is, I’m consuming something.

Gonna do some work on the latest Mantra sheet that Stripes shared with me – apparently it’s about self-compassion. If it wasn’t so on the nose, I think I’d laugh!

Pre Op Day 8 - SlimFast and I do not get along!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 166.2 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg | Pre-op Diet:⟫ Day 8

I really don’t think my body likes the SlimFast Shakes. I had a chocolate one last night – it tasted nice enough going down, although a little bland. But less than an hour later, I’m back stuck on the loo, struggling with the choccy waterfalls. I only have one more flavour to try out of the 18 I bought, and although I have my fingers crossed that the final flavour is one I can cope with, I don’t have high hopes.

I guess I can try to sell them on or something – I hate the thought of them going to waste – and I have all of my sachets to keep me going so I have time to find replacements if they are not going to work out. Stripes and I are wondering whether it’s because of the milk content – the shakes we make up with water – and because there’s nothing else in my stomach, it’s reacting badly.

The scales have shown a slight up-tick and it would be so easy to let that prey on my mind. My sister asked me if I thought I’d be able to lose the weight without going through with the surgery (we were chatting about ways to help Gidget help with all of the stuff in her head, including her anger about me taking the risk of surgery) and I had to admit that I really didn’t think I could. Yes, I’ve lost a chunk of weight in the week since I started the pre-op diet – today is day 8, so in the course of one week I have lost 4.6kg which is brilliant. However, I am not finding it easy by any means and I can’t say for definite that I’d be able to keep following the liquid diet if I had a choice.

So, no, I couldn’t do this without the surgery. Which means doing everything I can to ensure that the girls are okay with my decision and feeling as positive as possible.

I tried on the Garfield jimjam top that I got yesterday – it’s a size 5xl and I thought it was going to be tight and I was very worried. Colour me well-surprised when it went on easily, with plenty of room around the bust and waist. I haven’t tried on the bottoms yet – I think just the top being suitable was enough to blow my mind. I wasn’t ready for either (a) the bottoms to be too small or (b) fit perfectly. The difference a week has made is really messing with my head, and I have to keep my eye on the prize – I am doing this to shrink my liver and in the name of getting to where I want to be. I still need to try on the other items I bought in size 5xl – there’s no such thing as a universal fit – but I don’t see me doing it today.

I woke up around 8 am and haven’t been able to get back to sleep. I could make myself a shake – start the day off right – but instead I read a book and jumped on to do the review because I just feel so meh. Not wrong, as such, just – kinda ennui I think I described it to Stripes as. Nothing to get excited for, look forward to – the only important appointment I have this week is the video call tomorrow. Just tootling along.

Hopefully today, my butt will have settled down and I won’t suffer too much stomach trouble, although as I said I do need to try my last flavour of SlimFast. Actually, I might just get it out of the way now – that way, if it hits wrong I’m not already exhausted from the day to get back and forth to the bathroom. Ah, I know how to live the fun life – planning my day around bouts of diarrhoea!

surviving september...

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 172.2 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

How come I never write on here when I hit my lowest low? I saw 171 the other day, but it’s bounced back up to 172.2. So how am I doing? Well, I tried fried eggs on bagels and then had tuna pasta salad that evening, and spent an eventful hour or so on the toilet. We don’t know if it was the eggs or the tuna (I haven’t had either of them in a while) but suffice it to say, I won’t be eating either of them in a hurry.

It’s so strange what causes a reaction – I remember when I first started using Ozempic, chicken was almost guaranteed to make me throw up. Chicken – like, that’s meant to be one of the universal safe foods! Very strange.

Apart from throwing up and stomach issues, I have also been struggling with an ear infection and quite possibly the after-effects of COVID. I am utterly exhausted – the other night I went to bed around 11 pm and didn’t wake up until after 12 the next day That’s pretty much unheard of.

I’ve been so exhausted that I’ve been struggling to even read – I wake up, do my wordle, sqwardle then just sort of loll around until I doze off again. We have actually had a busy time though. I finally managed to sort out a new sofa and we spent just over an hour putting it together. It’s green velvet(looking) three seater love seat and fits almost perfectly where I wanted to place it. That side of the room is looking so much better – cleaner, clearer and just, yeah, happy with.

The other side of the room, not so much. I have my disability chair that Stripes covered in old denim jeans when it started looking ropey, as well as one of the blankets I crocheted on the right side of the bed and it looks really comfortable. Comfy enough for Stripes to curl up with Dmi and look incredibly sweet and happy together! Unfortunately, beneath that chair is varying amounts of detritus – things that have fallen off my bed, wrappers from cough sweets, bandages, plasters – all sorts of crap. And it’s going to take more energy and balance for me to get that sorted.

I did manage to go through my wicker basket and pull out all of my bras and panties, which are now neatly tucked away in a drawer. Which just leaves going through the basket and folding my pyjamas neatly as well as getting rid of things that are too ratty or too big. Yeah, no energy for that either at the moment.

Which brings me to my state of mind. We took a few pictures of the three of us on the sofa. Gidget has a nifty Polaroid camera and took an absolutely darling picture of me cuddling Castiel which I love. However, we took a few photos using my phone and I absolutely HATE the way I look with a passion. My pyjamas are loose on me and I know that I’m losing weight but for some reason, that picture just made me want to cry. I look like someone in those 1,000 lb people weight shows – just hanging fat, rolls and just kinda lumbering. Now I know it’s weird to describe myself as lumbering when I was sitting down in the photo but it’s the only word that comes to mind.

It made me feel quite blue – I still feel quite blue, although I know that some of that is just the after-effects of being ill and the ear infection. It’s sobering to think that I’m about 1lb away from having lost 80 lbs and looking at myself in pictures just makes me want to cry. This is just going to get worse in terms of hanging skin because exercise is still out of my range of possibilities and I think I might need to see if I can find someone to talk to about all of this. Mantra is all very good but there’s only so much I can do on my own.

In good news, we met Gidget’s new beau – Stripes originally called him ‘the ginge from hinge’ which cracks me up every time, but we’ll call him A here. He’s a nice boy – he came around and we spent a very wholesome afternoon playing cards, video games and talking. Gidget seems happy and that’s all I can hope for. The situation with JC seems to have calmed down, especially now that Gidget’s workplace have barred him from entry. Of course, the last time I let my guard down, he escalated so I’m still concerned but we’ll see. Gidget says she does want to fill out a police report but hasn’t got around to it yet – I can’t blame her, no one wants to have to talk about a situation like that and the self-blame is hitting hard for both of us.

I don’t even know what to aim for weight-wise for the anniversary of beginning of this, which I believe is the 23rd September. I’m still slightly stunned that I’m still doing this. Oh crap, I’ve just remembered that I wanted to ring the Dr's surgery and ask what my latest AC1 numbers were – you can only get results in the morning so I guess I’ve missed it today.

Blimey, I’ve written a tome! I think that’s enough laptop time for today. I’ve begun porting ‘High Thoughts’ over onto Dreamwidth – I don’t know why I’ve got it into my head that something might happen to Blogger, but I guess better safe than sorry. I have another ARC that I need to read and review for a deadline, then just some kindle unlimited books that I can take my time on. I’ve signed up for a few comms, including Spook Me, and a new bingo card, and I have the drabble/icon challenge to catch up on but all of that will have to wait. I think it’s time for a long drink of water and a nap!

High Thoughts - Prime Effectiveness?

Yes, this is the second post of the night! I don’t know if these would be classed high thoughts – more than likely since it’s nearly 6 am, I haven’t been to sleep yet, and my brain is running like a hamster on a wheel but.

What if I’m making things harder for myself by doing my jab last thing on a Friday night? Like, part of the reason for doing that was to combat the fatigue, but what if it’s partly responsible for me not sleeping? And what if by taking the jab when I do, I’m sleeping through the most effective times? Like – I take the jab and it kicks in and I’m not hungry and not prone to snacking. Not much use of that if it’s the middle of the night and I should be asleep. And then I’ve set myself up for the rest of the week because of when I’ve taken the jab. So my 24 hour cycles are all messed up because I take the jab last thing at night.

What might help – if I’m not talking out of my butt – is if I take my jab on Saturday morning and keep note/track of side effects, food noise, hunger pangs. Obviously I can’t do it now (wish I’d had this idea before I stabbed myself this evening) but if I make a note to myself saying not to do my jab until Saturday morning, I might find that it proves more effective.

It might not – it could simply be that I need to titrate up despite the fact that I’m loathe to move up levels if I don’t have to. But if I can stay on 1mg and keep losing weight, then I can put off titrating up until it’s absolutely necessary. I still have at least 80 – 90 kgs to lose so there’s time to run experiments, but also still a chance to help the Ozempic work for me. What if I’ve been putting a stumbling block in my way this whole time simply because I thought taking the jab at night meant that I wouldn’t have to handle the fatigue, as in it would help me go to sleep if I was exhausted. But maybe that’s not the way my brain – or body – works.

Now I just need to remember this for next week!

Did YOU know that rhubarb ferments?!!!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 176.7 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Did you know that rhubarb ferments like grapes because I sure as hell didn’t! For some reason on Friday/Saturday, I decided I really wanted fruit crumble – get more fruit in to make up something resembling my five a day. I had some on Sunday and Monday – Sunday I felt my stomach twisting up like it had the week before when I had the d&v but we didn’t put it together until last night after I had my dessert. So that’s another fruit off the list and my numbers have shot up with water retention so it doesn’t look like July is gonna be my month for mega-losses.

The sulphur burps are driving me insane today as I constantly feel like I’m going to throw up and my sleep isn’t very good either because I’m too scared to use my CPAP mask whilst burping like this in case I throw up whilst wearing it. So, yeah, I’m feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself.

It’s a writing day so time to wrap up the month of July – not sure I’ve got a lot to say because I don’t feel like I’ve achieved very much this month. Looks like I’ve lost 2kg over the course of the month which is pretty pitiful. Okay, positive hat on. That’s 2kg less than I weighed last month and I still have tomorrow’s weigh in.

⟫ I’ve learned of two fruits that I can’t eat which means, all being well, I won’t suffer through this again;

⟫ I weigh less than I did last month, even if it’s just 2 kg;

⟫ Roughly half a kilo per week works out at an average loss of between 1-2 lbs which is what I should be aiming at for steady loss;

⟫ the tattoos on my thighs are sitting differently because of weight loss – that’s the only explanation I can make for it anyway;

⟫ I’m still doing this – it’s seven months into the year and I am still doing this. I can’t think of the last time I stuck to trying to lose weight for this length of time so I should be proud of myself. Not to mention that it hasn’t always been easy with side effects and real-life getting in the way;

⟫ I missed my diabetic follow up phone call with the doctor’s surgery but they haven’t called back so is it safe to assume that my numbers are doing okay?

⟫ I did more mantra work although I still need to have a go at the letters they suggest writing. But that means I’m still doing the head work.

That’s not a bad round up!

Migraine and Nausea - welcome back side effects!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 178.5 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Well last night was less than pleasant. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling all day – I guess I was on high alert for the revenge of the peanuts – but I just felt off. By the end of the evening, I had a migraine brewing and my knees were aching something fierce. Food-wise, I had porridge then cheesy chips for dinner, with some fruit and a couple of cherry Bakewell tarts.

And the nausea was unrelenting. Or should I say is unrelenting because I’ve woken up today with a slight migraine hangover and the nausea is still present. I did vape last night – Equinposa 8/8 – and I was asleep just after 11 pm, which is pretty much unheard of for me. I woke up this morning around 6 am and having had my painkillers and drank a ton of water, I think I’m going back to sleep. I just don’t feel right.

Stripes left me a bottle of water and a banana by my bedside which I really appreciate, but I can’t face the banana – my mouth just tastes revolting even after I’ve brushed my teeth. I do vaguely remember this feeling from before, so I can only assume it’s a normal side effect of the Ozempic making itself felt once again. The scales are going down once again but until I see something below 177 kg then it doesn’t count as new loss, so I’m just going to keep tootling along.

I have an ARC to read but my basic plan for today is to do some Mantra work, clean a bit of the kitchen (if I’m physically up to it) and try to drink this migraine away. If that doesn’t work, then I shall close the curtains and seclude myself in the darkness of my cave and see if I can sleep it away!

Up to 1mg I go

29/06/24

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 178.2 | MGW ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Okay, so I got a little distracted and forgot to post what I wrote yesterday! I gave myself the jab last thing last night and for perhaps the first time, it hurt! I don’t know if it was because I had to have the needle in my arm for longer to administer the dose or what, but for the first time I could have told you exactly where I injected myself in my arm without looking – it stung and was painful and I am not a fan. I vaped my weed at bedtime and had my crisps and felt a little – off is the only way to describe it but I wasn’t sick so I pushed it out of my head.

Today – I can’t say this morning because I didn’t get to sleep until after 5 am and woke up around 2 pm – and I wasn’t hungry in the slightest. Now, this could just be because sometimes the weed muffles my ability to figure out what I’m feeling. I was snuggled up with Gidget when my stomach began grumbling loud enough for me to feel a little embarrassed, but bearing in mind the last thing I ate was crisps around 2 am, that’s a chunk of time without eating. Anyway, I’ve had porridge and it was a little difficult finishing it all. It’s sitting a little heavy as well and the honey has left a weird taste in my mouth. I wouldn’t say I feel sick exactly – just nauseous I guess?

Obviously, this time I’m going to be much more aware of the side effects than I was when I initially did Trulicity and Ozempic which is a good thing. Maybe then I can figure out how to make it work harder for me!

~ ~ ~ ~ + ~ ~ ~ ~

28/06/24

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 178.7 | MGW ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic: ⟫ 0.5 mg

Today is my last day on 0.5 mg – tonight I take the first of the 1mg jab and I must admit, I am a little worried. The scales are slowly dropping again which of course has me wondering whether I should stick with 0.5. But thinking it through properly, titrating up is a good move and will hopefully kickstart things moving again.

Today, I’ve had porridge with granola and oat milk for breakfast, and am having cheese and onion pasties for dinner. I have Exante shakes to use if it turns out that I can’t eat initially on the 1 mg so I’m not too worried about that. I have no plans for the weekend so if I end up living in the bathroom, that will be okay too.

I guess it’s time for a round up. I started Ozempic on/around 1st February and since then I have lost 16.8 kgs, which brings my loss total up to 29 kgs since I started using semaglutides back at the beginning of December. Roughly 4 kgs per month, which is a decent rate of loss I guess. This last month, June, has been up and down with what looks like a net loss of absolutely zero. Okay, I have two days left in the month but still, I can’t see anything amazing happening in that time.

The next stage is here, along with all of the home stuff that is going on and I really want to make sure that I continue to prioritise myself in all of this – I really want to keep working with the Ozempic, accepting losing weight, and working on the head stuff. Let’s see how great I can make the second half of the year!

Oh yeah, I need to make sure that I allow for the weed munchies. I’m vaping in the evening to alleviate the pain in my knees, but it often means that around bedtime I find myself needing something crunchy. So maybe I should save a bag of crisps as a planned treat to deal with that. I also want to get back into a decent sleep pattern – blimey, July is gonna be a month to do some real work on myself!

New Low and Feeling Low

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 181.4 ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Definitely into new territory weight-wise as once again, the numbers are showing 181. Time to panic about getting into the 170s maybe? Nah, I think I’ll save that particular panic – no point diving into that now when it’s probably going to take another fortnight to get there. I’m on my last injection tomorrow and Stripes is going to be speaking to the pharmacy about my prescription today – I can only hope it’s not the same shambles as last month.

I was going to try to do some more head-work – Stripes gave me the link to some online resources that might prove helpful. I have the notebook, the pens and the vague inclination but I’m feeling a little ropey. Sunday evening, I had a very upset stomach and then again last night. It might be the protein desserts I ordered in an attempt to make sure I was getting enough protein, or at least more than previously. Whatever it was, I spent a considerable amount of time in the bathroom, had to make a run for it twice and felt wrung out by the time I took some immodium.

To top it all off, I didn’t sleep last night so am exhausted. I figured I’d get the book reviews, chapter of current WiP and this journal entry done, and then knock back my painkillers and see if I can get some sleep. Fortunately, I have no deliveries due today so there’s nothing stopping me from grabbing all of the sleep I need.

Still eating once a day but for the last few days I’ve been having sandwiches. I wonder if that means the hyper-fixation on cheesy beans is over and done with? Shame if so, it was nice to have something hot to eat that hit the spot without making me feel bloated/sick. And of course, beans are an excellent source of fibre which helped with the constipation. This whole thing is like a bizarre balancing act between constipation and diarrhoea; feeling too full or hollow; and I wish I could figure out something to help with the horrendous taste in my mouth. It’s pretty much constant and especially worse in the morning after wearing my CPAP mask all night. Chewing gum helps for a short amount of time, as do the cough sweets, but even brushing my teeth with bicarbonate toothpaste doesn’t make my mouth feel fresh.

So, fingers crossed for Stripes as she enters the Pharmacy battlefield once again, and here’s hoping my daily tablets knock me out enough so that I don’t resemble Nosferatu on a bad day!

Ring of Fire!

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 183.7 ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Kinda left things on a bit of a cliffhanger last time – my bad! Stripes sorted it – including a posse of pharmacy clients trying to sort out the complete and utter FUBAR that was dealing with the Pharmacy FKAU (they are still useless but in this instance, they came through and I got another four weeks of Ozempic).

However this week I have been suffering the plight of the damned. I don’t know if it was the home-made flapjack made by Grim, Easter eggs in excess or a simple virus, but since Thursday night I have been in hell.

We’re about to get into TMI – you have been warned.

Wednesday night felt like the purge of all things unholy – I cannot believe all of that came out of me, but I put it down to the usual once-weekly emptying out. Unfortunately, this continued throughout the entirety of Wednesday night all the way through to now (early hours of Saturday morning). Ring of fire doesn’t even cover it – I’m pretty sure I created and killed numerous haemorrhoids in the course of these three days. Liquid fire has been coming out of me steadily for nearly three days and I’m not ashamed to say that I was at the point of begging to be put out of my misery. My butt has been in so much pain, my stomach has felt twisted into knots and I have had the belches from hell. Painful, loud and feeling like they’re being punched out of me, I can’t even say that they were sulphur burps which Ozempic is apparently famous for because to me, they didn’t smell.

But they really freaking hurt.

I started on Imodium yesterday and having taken approximately seven doses, things seems to be settling down. Mind you, I thought the same last night and risked half a slice of toast – big mistake, HUGE as it felt like my insides were trying to themselves into pretzels and I was prepared to give absolutely anything for the pain to go away. I slept for over six hours, woke to pee, sip water and take another imodium, then slept for another six hours.

I haven’t risked food as such – I had some dioralyte to replenish fluids (that stuff tastes disgusting) and a cuppa-soup type thing that we had in the cupboard, and that seems to be staying put.

I weighed in this morning and saw 183.7 kg which would take my loss to 24kg or just under 53 lbs, so I should be over the moon. But I’m not because I know that loss isn’t real, and no doubt when I’ve rehydrated and begun eating again, the numbers will shoot back up.

I contemplated not taking my shot today – so much so, that I took it very late this evening. But in the end, I can’t really blame Ozempic for what I’ve been through. It could have been a virus that attacked me, the imodium definitely helped and I haven’t died. Not yet anyway. But I wonder, how much of this is me deciding that I deserve to suffer? Even now online, you can read people saying that taking drugs like Ozempic is the easy way out, that the drugs are just another crutch that fat people are using instead of willpower. And no matter how much I don’t believe that, the words seep into my brain and make me think ‘well if you’d just lost weight the normal way, you wouldn’t be suffering like this’.

We’re at the end of March so I’m going to ask Stripes to take photos of my face (side profile and full on) and once again, not show me the results. And away into April we go. At least I’m no longer as scared to fart as I was earlier in the week – I read far too many stories on Reddit of people shitting themselves, and with the diarrhoea wreaking havoc with my system, it was a genuine fear. Lucky so far and not taking any of it for granted. God, the things we do to lose weight.

As a side note, we never did hear back from Violet (makes me wonder if the message got through to her) and we also haven’t heard anything about the surgery date. Business as usual then – sometimes I feel like I’ve been given these drugs and then just left to my own devices. Ugh, I think I’ll stop here before the self-pity drags me down into it’s pit again.

Sick 'n' Tired of Being Sick 'n' Tired

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 189.1 ⟫ 186.93

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Well that was a bit of a shit week. Fatigued beyond even the normal, guessing what would stay put and hoping not to have the list of food I can eat and keep down made even smaller; unable to sleep and then sleeping like the dead. Yeah, not the best week ever.

In the back of my mind is the knowledge that on Monday is the pre-op nurse appointment. I don’t even know why I’m panicking about it – it’s a telephone conversation, not a test I can fail or the point of no return. I think my friend Sarah put it best – oh shit, things have got real.

I still don’t know if I was suffering from a lurgy but after the Teenager came home from Halls because she wasn’t feeling well, then a lurgy was a definite. Fortunately no more throwing up, but things at the other end were turbulent. It seemed like literally every time I ate something, I ended up in the bathroom – almost as if there was only room for a certain amount of food, so every time I had something to eat I had to evacuate something else. It’s exhausting and so wearing – I was actually in tears last night because I am just so absolutely fed up of feeling so crap all of the time.

I keep reading about people who’ve had no side effects, the weight is falling off of them, they feel healthier than they have in years and I admit I feel envious. I would LOVE to be one of those people who are finding it easy but I’m not. The food noise is gone and so have some of the cravings, but I still feel like shit and not being able to eat anything without worrying about it worsening the side effects is draining.

I vacillate between feeling guilty that I’m complaining when this is working for me (I’m so close to having lost 21 kg which would be my first 10% off) and feeling sorry for myself that I’m struggling and suffering so much. I remember back when I initially did the Cambridge diet (VLCD) that we used to call it STF syndrome (*scared to fart) because things were just so messed up and I’m back there now. I also know that it’s not as simple as not taking my next shot – this stuff stays in your system for at least a fortnight after taking the shot, so it could be yet another 2 weeks of suffering even after stopping.

At this point in time, I don’t plan on stopping. I have to be honest with myself an admit that there is absolutely no chance I would have lost the weight I have without the Trulicity/Ozempic. I haven’t been in the 180s in over five years and as long as the weight keeps coming off, I’ll keep taking the shots.

But man, what I wouldn’t give for a break where I didn’t feel like crap and felt too scared to go too far from the bathroom.

The Tattoos That Weren't & Side Effects

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 191 ⟫ 186.93

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Yesterday I was meant to go for my birthday tattoos – the ones I was meant to get on my birthday but had to postpone because I went down with a bug. I thought the bug was done with me, but apparently not.

I was up, dressed, eyebrows in place and they looked pretty good, and feeling fine in a new dress Just before we decided to order the uber, I thought I should go to the bathroom. Bearing in mind the night before I had had soup and bread rolls for dinner, as well as about four Ferrero Roche, I thought things were fine.

This wasn’t the worst bathroom incident I’ve had since being on Trulicity/Ozempic but it did take me completely by surprise. Basically, everything I ate the night before was coming out the bottom end and then I threw up the toast I had for breakfast at the same time. By the time I was able to stagger out of the bathroom, Stripes had already cancelled my tattoo appointment (I sent £30 to apologise for the late notice/waste of time because I value my tattoo artist and didn’t want her to think I was taking the piss cancelling two weeks in a row). I felt grey, light-headed, empty stomached and generally as weak as a newborn kitten.

I spent the rest of the day tucked up in bed, and managed to keep down/in soup and bread rolls and that was pretty much it for the day. I tried to drink more water but had/have to be careful as sometimes cold water hits my empty stomach and makes me want to throw up.

I am now scared to plan anything because I cannot imagine what would have happened if we had already been at the tattoo shop when this happened. I’m not fast enough on my crutches to get to a strange bathroom and I certainly don’t want to have an accident/puke in public. I found myself musing before I got to sleep whether or not this meant that I couldn’t go out until I had lost a LOT more weight.

This also made me think that all of the people saying taking semaglutide is the easy way out have no clue what they are talking about. I felt like I was being wrung out using my stomach, with everything coming out of both ends and it was a horrible, horrible feeling. I’m half tempted to read through everything I’ve written since November to see just how much these side effects are taking over my life but what good would it do? I’m still not going to come off of them – losing weight is worth the discomfort and sickness. I just need to lower my expectations of what I’m capable of doing,

And book any new tattoos for the day after my injection when I have pretty much zero inclination to eat and should therefore not have these results/side effects.

Saturday morning and I’m too scared to eat toast and have a generally rumbly feeling in my stomach that precedes an incident. I guess whether it’s a lurgy or just the Ozempic, it’s not finished with me yet.