Pre Op Day 3 and Resistance Bands

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 167.4 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg | Pre-op Diet:⟫ Day 3

The way the scales have dropped is nothing short of astounding. It boggles my mind and brings up all kinds of questions. Like, should I have been trying to do sole source whilst doing Ozempic all along? Would I have lost more weight? Mind you, would I have been able to stick to it without the ever present threat of surgery? I guess I’ll never know.

One thing that came up during my chat with the doctor and medical students on Thursday was what happens if the surgery gets cancelled for whatever reason. Dr Bates did say that there were no more strikes planned at present so it shouldn’t be cancelled for that reason. My thought process was that if it did get cancelled, I would still have done a month of liquid diet and presumably seen a nice drop in weight, so it still wouldn’t be a loss.

I thought I had messed up taking my Ozempic because for some reason I thought today was Sunday, but it is indeed Saturday and I was not late taking my shot. I did it in my right arm because I had the flu jab in my left arm.

Caramel shake was rather lovely this morning – maybe I’m just getting used to the aftertaste? I’ve also ordered some Jordan’s sugar free syrups for the shakes that I can’t stand the taste of. I haven’t read anything that says that they’re not allowed.

4.30 pm and I’ve written a short story, downloaded a couple of kindle unlimited books and sorted out a couple of movies so I think it’s time to shut the laptop down. Just having my second shake of the day which works better timing-wise – 12pm, 4pm(ish), 8.30 pm and then the last one around midnight. Stripes and I did a resistance bands workout – first time this week – and I cannot believe how badly I did compared to last time. Consistency is key, obviously. So back to doing it every other day for the foreseeable.

Seriously thinking about getting a new blender – one that I can keep in my room. I don’t want to clutter my room with unnecessary stuff but I think in the long run it would work out as paying for itself: liquid diet for four weeks pre-op then 2 weeks post-op, then onto puree and soft food. It’ll have to wait until I get some money but I think it makes financial sense.

Right, I want to paint my nails as the girls are going to be eating dinner and I don’t want to be tempted, then it’s an evening of reading and watching movies I think!

First week of October 2024

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 172.3 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

So what have I been up to? Well, I set up a new spreadsheet because my old one was getting ‘creaky’. It would freeze when I tried to go to different sheets or charts and I guess it makes sense – there’s a year’s worth of data in it. So I set up a new one, streamlining things a bit and now including my BMI.

The scales are still being stubborn. I can’t figure out if it’s because I’ve been doing the resistance bands every other day and possibly I’m retaining water? My eating hasn’t changed that much although there has been an absolute obsession with cheese sandwiches when I’ve vaped my medicinal weed. I think I may need to adjust what I’m eating for dinner to include the craving because it’s not going anywhere – I did try to keep something aside from dinner but that didn’t work. It HAD to be the sandwich. Kudos to Stripes for somehow managing to recreate my childhood favourite sandwich!

I’m not sure if I can feel any difference with using the resistance bands apart from pain in my arms and shoulders. I guess I need to continue to be consistent with it and then maybe I’ll see something. I had a shower the other day and I was caught off guard by the mirror. God, my boobs are just so sad-looking. Like droopy Bassett ears. If I ever make it to goal, I’m going to need cosmetic surgery to deal with them because it’s just not right. I think I might need to start saving now though because I reckon I’ll need a whole body lift to get rid of the excess skin.

I bought some workout/sleep gear – Aztec print trousers and a couple of vests. I’m not sure the trousers will fit because they look really small to me. They’re a size 6xl but I don’t hold out much hope. Of course, I’ve been wrong before so I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

I’m down with yet another cough/cold so am necking Benyllin like it’s going out of style. The sneezing is what makes me feel completely exhausted and I hate wearing my CPAP whilst I’m struggling like this. Added to which, there have been at least a couple of times when the coughing has led to me throwing up which is never nice. I don’t know if it’s because my immune system is just crap and autumn means the temperatures are changing, but I could do without it to be honest. Added to which, I can’t get my COVID or flu jab whilst I’m sick, so it has a knock on effect to everything. I need to book a Dr's appointment because I would like to be referred for a home hearing test and Specsavers’ have said that it has to come from the GP. I’ll add that to my to-do list but I would like to combine it with the jabs if I can so that I’m not paying out a fortune in Ubers for each trip to the surgery.

I’m trying not to panic at the numbers going back up and instantly think about titrating up, but I do wonder if I will need to move up to 2 mg. It’s hard to see the ‘loss’ numbers move from 80 lbs to 77 lbs without feeling a sense of disappointment. I don’t think I want to titrate up – I can only imagine how horrific the side effects would be – but I also don’t want to stall out here. I shall keep a close eye on the scales throughout October and then make a decision I think.

As to my goals at the end of September, I am definitely getting more protein in the form of cheese! I’m being consistent with the resistance bands – now I just need to get cracking on sorting out my bedroom floor and the clothes out of the cat room. Slowly, slowly!

Resistance Bands and Negative Self-Talk

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 172.9 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

A lot of weirdness – some emotional, some factual, all of it adding up to a bit of a mind fuck.

Firstly, I never realised how much my negative self-talk was impacting the girls. The three of us were talking the other night and things got a bit deep talking about weight and things. I think it started because I was talking about shaving my head again because I hate how my hair looks. But it then expanded to how I feel about myself in general, the struggle I have with seeing myself in videos and pictures.

Since we moved back up to Birmingham and the girls’ fathers are not around, obviously people have commented on how alike they and I look. Which, makes sense, I think most kids will look to people like the parent that they are seeing at that point in time. However, my self-hatred and negative talk was making the girls feel like maybe I viewed them the same way? And that never occurred to me. I was talking about myself – about how I viewed how I looked. But with people remarking on the resemblance, of course they were left wondering if I viewed them as ugly.

It made me think that I need to separate or at least differentiate between how I look and the fat that I carry. I’m not sure if that makes sense. I hate the way my face looks so round and fat, with extra chins. However, I can see pleasant features in my face – my eyes, my lips, my smile. And I see those positive, pleasant things when I look at my girls. And I tried their whole lives to tell them how beautiful I found them. But I didn’t realise that saying how ugly I felt was affecting them.

So there’s something I need to work on. I did apologise to both of them for the misunderstanding and how I have made them feel. And I have been doing some self-reflection on the whole situation.

My PIP review has been moved forward from May 2025 to now and I was struggling to get an appointment with Welfare Rights for assistance in completing the form. The nearest appointment they could give me was in late October and the form was due back on 2nd October. However, they now have an appointment for me on Saturday so Stripes and I got out all of my PIP paperwork and medical files and tried to compile the answers that are needed during the phone call.

This made me double check when I began Trulicity and started this journey. I started weighing in again in September, but I didn’t actually start Trulicity until 13th November. Which means my one year anniversary of using semaglutides is actually over a month away! That doesn’t mean that I think I’m going to lose 100 lbs in that year – I would still need to lose another 20 lbs and I think that is way too ambitious with how slowly the weight is coming off.

I feel like I’m excused from making the one year progress post for another couple of months, which is good because I’m not sure where my head is at. We had take out last night – chinese – but I also had a few snacks: mini pack of maryland cookies, strawberries, a pastry and a bag of crisps. And I think that quite possibly, my snacking needs to be pulled back a little. I didn’t need to eat all of those things but because they were in front of me, I did. I don’t know if it means that I need to titrate up, or whether I just need to be more aware of things.

On the exercise front, I have been using the resistance bands. I bought these ones from Amazon for less than £6. After the three of us did them on Thursday, I was in PAIN on Friday. But today, we all got together again and did the exercises on the pamphlet as well as a few others like rowing machine. I also used the ‘Heavy’ band instead of just sticking with the light one and boy, did it make a difference! We chose some banging tunes to workout to, and I had an absolute blast but I can feel the aching in my shoulders and arms and know I am going to be feeling this tomorrow. It makes it so much more fun doing it together – kinda the most light-hearted the three of us are together. I want to keep doing these every other day (with or without the girls) but also want to be aware of the need not to over-do it or exhaust myself. I’m not going to start looking like Arnold Schwartzenegger in just a couple of weeks, but hopefully they will go some way to help tighten up and tone the skin on my arms and legs.

I’m going to put some more thought into what I want to write for my Semaglutide Anniversary, but first things first, I need to get through this PIP phone call tomorrow!