Ring of Fire!

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 183.7 ⟫ 168.2

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Kinda left things on a bit of a cliffhanger last time – my bad! Stripes sorted it – including a posse of pharmacy clients trying to sort out the complete and utter FUBAR that was dealing with the Pharmacy FKAU (they are still useless but in this instance, they came through and I got another four weeks of Ozempic).

However this week I have been suffering the plight of the damned. I don’t know if it was the home-made flapjack made by Grim, Easter eggs in excess or a simple virus, but since Thursday night I have been in hell.

We’re about to get into TMI – you have been warned.

Wednesday night felt like the purge of all things unholy – I cannot believe all of that came out of me, but I put it down to the usual once-weekly emptying out. Unfortunately, this continued throughout the entirety of Wednesday night all the way through to now (early hours of Saturday morning). Ring of fire doesn’t even cover it – I’m pretty sure I created and killed numerous haemorrhoids in the course of these three days. Liquid fire has been coming out of me steadily for nearly three days and I’m not ashamed to say that I was at the point of begging to be put out of my misery. My butt has been in so much pain, my stomach has felt twisted into knots and I have had the belches from hell. Painful, loud and feeling like they’re being punched out of me, I can’t even say that they were sulphur burps which Ozempic is apparently famous for because to me, they didn’t smell.

But they really freaking hurt.

I started on Imodium yesterday and having taken approximately seven doses, things seems to be settling down. Mind you, I thought the same last night and risked half a slice of toast – big mistake, HUGE as it felt like my insides were trying to themselves into pretzels and I was prepared to give absolutely anything for the pain to go away. I slept for over six hours, woke to pee, sip water and take another imodium, then slept for another six hours.

I haven’t risked food as such – I had some dioralyte to replenish fluids (that stuff tastes disgusting) and a cuppa-soup type thing that we had in the cupboard, and that seems to be staying put.

I weighed in this morning and saw 183.7 kg which would take my loss to 24kg or just under 53 lbs, so I should be over the moon. But I’m not because I know that loss isn’t real, and no doubt when I’ve rehydrated and begun eating again, the numbers will shoot back up.

I contemplated not taking my shot today – so much so, that I took it very late this evening. But in the end, I can’t really blame Ozempic for what I’ve been through. It could have been a virus that attacked me, the imodium definitely helped and I haven’t died. Not yet anyway. But I wonder, how much of this is me deciding that I deserve to suffer? Even now online, you can read people saying that taking drugs like Ozempic is the easy way out, that the drugs are just another crutch that fat people are using instead of willpower. And no matter how much I don’t believe that, the words seep into my brain and make me think ‘well if you’d just lost weight the normal way, you wouldn’t be suffering like this’.

We’re at the end of March so I’m going to ask Stripes to take photos of my face (side profile and full on) and once again, not show me the results. And away into April we go. At least I’m no longer as scared to fart as I was earlier in the week – I read far too many stories on Reddit of people shitting themselves, and with the diarrhoea wreaking havoc with my system, it was a genuine fear. Lucky so far and not taking any of it for granted. God, the things we do to lose weight.

As a side note, we never did hear back from Violet (makes me wonder if the message got through to her) and we also haven’t heard anything about the surgery date. Business as usual then – sometimes I feel like I’ve been given these drugs and then just left to my own devices. Ugh, I think I’ll stop here before the self-pity drags me down into it’s pit again.