Four weeks on 1 mg

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 175.4 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

Coming to the end of another week and I’m not quite sure how I feel. Obviously Sunday was absolutely awful but it certainly made the numbers on the scales go down. They also appear to be staying at the new low – or in the vicinity – so part of me feels like I should be pleased? The other part of me is standing back in horror thinking that if the best way to get the scales to go down is to be sick, actually throwing up, isn’t this just another form of eating disorder?

By no stretch of the imagination am I thinking about making myself sick on the regular. But I don’t really seem to have constipation or diarrhoea lately (please don’t take this as a taunt or jab – I don’t need either of them to return to remember just how awful they are); I’m not sure how much food restriction I’m feeling; hunger pangs are rare but I can definitely eat even if I’m not hungry. It kinda feels like what was working in the beginning isn’t working now.

I know I have a tendency to panic and I don’t want to do something stupid or drastic – we’ve had a pretty steady week food-wise. The biggest change was having take out today because I went for a couple of tattoos. I had my koi filled with colour (ouch), and also covered up a small tattoo on my forearm that I didn’t like. I’ll lob a picture of the forearm one below.

We had fish and chips. Normally, I either have kebab meat with salad in a pita, or occasionally a small fish and small chips. For some reason this evening – whether it was because it was the first time eating all day or because I was tired after the tattoos, I ordered a large fish and small chips. I barely finished a third of the fish (the cats ate well tonight) and left about a third of the chips. Admittedly, I had a McDonald’s McFlurry and a chocolate and raspberry pie (they’re celebrating their 55th Birthday or something), but apart from three boiled sweets during my tattoo session, I didn’t eat anything else today.

I guess we’ll see what the scales show. It has been a tough week – living together as three adults is not easy, and it requires real effort and thought to not fall back into ‘Mommy mode’ which messes up the dynamic. Knowing that Gidget isn’t going back to university this year means all three of us know that, for the moment, we’re stuck together and we need to figure this shit out.

I don’t even want to think what might happen if we don’t find a way to make this work.

It’s something like 6 am and I need to sleep. I guess I’m hoping writing this shit down will help me in some way – whether it’s just getting it out of my head or being able to return to it and see how I was feeling. I guess I can say this is four weeks on 1mg successfully completed, but I can’t help but wonder whether a shift to something like Zepbound or Rybelsus might help me? Or am I just looking for something external to do the work? Gah, I need sleep!