Resistance Bands and Negative Self-Talk

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 172.9 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

A lot of weirdness – some emotional, some factual, all of it adding up to a bit of a mind fuck.

Firstly, I never realised how much my negative self-talk was impacting the girls. The three of us were talking the other night and things got a bit deep talking about weight and things. I think it started because I was talking about shaving my head again because I hate how my hair looks. But it then expanded to how I feel about myself in general, the struggle I have with seeing myself in videos and pictures.

Since we moved back up to Birmingham and the girls’ fathers are not around, obviously people have commented on how alike they and I look. Which, makes sense, I think most kids will look to people like the parent that they are seeing at that point in time. However, my self-hatred and negative talk was making the girls feel like maybe I viewed them the same way? And that never occurred to me. I was talking about myself – about how I viewed how I looked. But with people remarking on the resemblance, of course they were left wondering if I viewed them as ugly.

It made me think that I need to separate or at least differentiate between how I look and the fat that I carry. I’m not sure if that makes sense. I hate the way my face looks so round and fat, with extra chins. However, I can see pleasant features in my face – my eyes, my lips, my smile. And I see those positive, pleasant things when I look at my girls. And I tried their whole lives to tell them how beautiful I found them. But I didn’t realise that saying how ugly I felt was affecting them.

So there’s something I need to work on. I did apologise to both of them for the misunderstanding and how I have made them feel. And I have been doing some self-reflection on the whole situation.

My PIP review has been moved forward from May 2025 to now and I was struggling to get an appointment with Welfare Rights for assistance in completing the form. The nearest appointment they could give me was in late October and the form was due back on 2nd October. However, they now have an appointment for me on Saturday so Stripes and I got out all of my PIP paperwork and medical files and tried to compile the answers that are needed during the phone call.

This made me double check when I began Trulicity and started this journey. I started weighing in again in September, but I didn’t actually start Trulicity until 13th November. Which means my one year anniversary of using semaglutides is actually over a month away! That doesn’t mean that I think I’m going to lose 100 lbs in that year – I would still need to lose another 20 lbs and I think that is way too ambitious with how slowly the weight is coming off.

I feel like I’m excused from making the one year progress post for another couple of months, which is good because I’m not sure where my head is at. We had take out last night – chinese – but I also had a few snacks: mini pack of maryland cookies, strawberries, a pastry and a bag of crisps. And I think that quite possibly, my snacking needs to be pulled back a little. I didn’t need to eat all of those things but because they were in front of me, I did. I don’t know if it means that I need to titrate up, or whether I just need to be more aware of things.

On the exercise front, I have been using the resistance bands. I bought these ones from Amazon for less than £6. After the three of us did them on Thursday, I was in PAIN on Friday. But today, we all got together again and did the exercises on the pamphlet as well as a few others like rowing machine. I also used the ‘Heavy’ band instead of just sticking with the light one and boy, did it make a difference! We chose some banging tunes to workout to, and I had an absolute blast but I can feel the aching in my shoulders and arms and know I am going to be feeling this tomorrow. It makes it so much more fun doing it together – kinda the most light-hearted the three of us are together. I want to keep doing these every other day (with or without the girls) but also want to be aware of the need not to over-do it or exhaust myself. I’m not going to start looking like Arnold Schwartzenegger in just a couple of weeks, but hopefully they will go some way to help tighten up and tone the skin on my arms and legs.

I’m going to put some more thought into what I want to write for my Semaglutide Anniversary, but first things first, I need to get through this PIP phone call tomorrow!