Pre-op Diet⟫ Day 25
Surgery Countdown⟫ 03 days
Today we went and visited my Marmee. It was actually a pretty peaceful visit – she insisted on sharing episodes of 1,000 lb Sisters with us, which I’m not sure if it was meant to be encouragement or what!! I crashed out for a while, so she was chatting to the girls for a while about cars, etc. All in all, it was a peaceful visit and I’m glad I went – I just feel exhausted.
Some of it is that this originally felt a long way away – seeing Marmee made it suddenly really clear that the days are disappearing and the surgery is becoming more and more real.
The laptop is playing silly buggers (not this one) so we haven’t been able to see the ‘From’ finale as yet, which is a pain in the butt as there are spoilers all over Reddit and I’m struggling to avoid them.
Still got a bubbly tummy and the scales are not happy – another slight uptick. Tomorrow is bloods and I can’t remember if they weigh me or not. If they do, then I obviously haven’t reached the goal they set for me. I don’t know if it means that they’ll delay the operation or not. That’s stressing me out more than a little because I have tried so hard to do what was asked of me. It’s not like I was sat, munching on snickers and popcorn. I’m a little disheartened.
I need to write my list of clothing I’m taking on Thursday (assuming it goes ahead) and pack the suitcase but I think we’ll wait until after the appointment tomorrow. We do need to grab the paperwork out of the Bariatric Bible Folder (it contains all of the booklets, forms, etc that we’ve been given) and make sure we hand in the right thing. Maybe we should just take the whole thing? And maybe I’m just panicking a little.
Book_grim is making me some nails. Stripes used to do them for me and I would glue them on, but I stopped because my nail beds were suffering and (I think) I started doing polygel nails for myself. That really messed up my nail beds! But somehow, Book_grim has got hold of some nail stickers that keep the nails on even when she’s working bar, so they should cope with me going to the hospital. Hopefully. And she says as long as I put a base coat on, it shouldn’t mess with my nail beds, so win-win.
I did finish my beret in time to wear it today – Stripes even made me the cutest little pom-pom but I didn’t actually sew that to the beret. I wore the cream wool dress from months ago, but even I can admit that it was a little big. Only a little from my perspective but I think Marmee and Stripes might have a different view.
I’ve had two shakes so far and will have my third one when it’s time to feed the cats and settle down to watch TV. I can’t say I’m finding this fully liquid thing easy, but at least I’m not crying at the sight of food. Just. Shit, this is all just going so so fast and yet, slow at the same time. Like I know I still have time to fuck things up and I desperately don’t want to but I’m scared. Scared of absolutely everything. I guess I should be concentrating on what’s directly in front of me, which today is drinking my shakes, getting some sleep and being ready to go for bloods tomorrow.
One step at a time.
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