Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing
I’ll start off with a NSV so that this entire post isn’t negative. Yesterday and today, I went for a walk around the car park outside the flat. Stripes kept me company, I didn’t use my crutches and I made it around twice before needing to come in and sit down. My black zip-up trainers are now loosely enough fitting that I don’t struggle at all to do them up. I want to keep going, upping the amount of time I spend walking around gradually. I also kept up with Stripes when she walked at her normal pace rather than my unsteady stagger.
I spoke to Jay about what I’m eating. We’re friends on NutraCheck and she has access to my diary so she had a look to see if she could spot any reason why I’m not losing weight. Apart from the lack of fresh produce and/or fruit and vegetables, she said that the amount I’m eating seems absolutely fine and she can’t see why the scales aren’t moving. Basically, that I need to trust the process and let it work – which, I know she’s right, but didn’t help me much mentally because I cannot get over how little progress I am making.
I am averaging between 700 and 1100 calories per day, with an emphasis on protein. I drink approximately 2 litres of protein water every day if not more. And I am not losing any weight at all. I want to cry – out of all of the people I have read about, it’s me that isn’t losing weight and feels like a failure.
I don’t want to bother the weight management team because what can they say? I can give them access to what I’m eating and how I’m logging it, but they have no way of knowing why my body is behaving the way that it’s behaving. So basically all that I can do is keep on keeping on, try to get in a bit more fresh produce and hope that my body starts behaving like a ‘normal’ body and releases some weight.
I am trying to make sure that I listen to my body’s cues – if I start burping when I’m eating, then I don’t take another bite. I am taking small bites, chewing at least 30 times and waiting at least 30 seconds between bites but often more. Back to basics. I have thought about going back to just liquid for a few days, like a reset but I don’t know if I could cope with it. I’m just so fed up of all of this – if I was cheating or doing something stupid, it would be one thing, but I’m not. I’m following the rules, eating what I should, moving my body more – why the hell isn’t this working for me?
I did receive the letter following up from the appointment on 20th January and it says that I have a slightly raised cholesterol level, so I called the Drs' surgery and they got me a telephone appointment for today (Saturday). The doctor I spoke to didn’t actually have access to my blood test results, apologised for the faff and said that he would request the results be transferred to my patient profile and then they would get back to me.
I finished another hat and infinity scarf and Book_grim is now the proud owner of a dusky pink set of warm-wear. Now I just need her to get her own pair of gloves so she can stop borrowing mine! I’m going to make some matching hats for my nephew, his fiancee and their two daughters and that should keep my hands busy and hopefully give me something different to focus on. I got a ball of cable chunky from Home Bargains but I didn’t realise just how super-chunky this stuff was. There was no way I was going to be able to make anything substantial out of it, so I ended up making a catnip pillow for the cats! Ah well, they seemed to appreciate it so I can’t complain.
I gave the girls their Galentine’s presents yesterday and I think they were pleased. I have a foot pack on and after posting this, I’m going to see if I can finish the ARC I’ve been reading and plan to do a review tomorrow. Other than that, I have no plans to do anything – walking a couple of times around the car park might not seem like a big deal to most people, but I am shattered. Maybe it’s because I’m not using my crutches? Anyway, I figured it was better than potentially upsetting the bitch-stitch using the resistance bands and every little bit of motion helps. I hope.
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