Sick 'n' Tired of Being Sick 'n' Tired

SW ⟫ CW ⟫ GW

207.7 ⟫ 189.1 ⟫ 186.93

Ozempic ⟫ 0.5 mg

Well that was a bit of a shit week. Fatigued beyond even the normal, guessing what would stay put and hoping not to have the list of food I can eat and keep down made even smaller; unable to sleep and then sleeping like the dead. Yeah, not the best week ever.

In the back of my mind is the knowledge that on Monday is the pre-op nurse appointment. I don’t even know why I’m panicking about it – it’s a telephone conversation, not a test I can fail or the point of no return. I think my friend Sarah put it best – oh shit, things have got real.

I still don’t know if I was suffering from a lurgy but after the Teenager came home from Halls because she wasn’t feeling well, then a lurgy was a definite. Fortunately no more throwing up, but things at the other end were turbulent. It seemed like literally every time I ate something, I ended up in the bathroom – almost as if there was only room for a certain amount of food, so every time I had something to eat I had to evacuate something else. It’s exhausting and so wearing – I was actually in tears last night because I am just so absolutely fed up of feeling so crap all of the time.

I keep reading about people who’ve had no side effects, the weight is falling off of them, they feel healthier than they have in years and I admit I feel envious. I would LOVE to be one of those people who are finding it easy but I’m not. The food noise is gone and so have some of the cravings, but I still feel like shit and not being able to eat anything without worrying about it worsening the side effects is draining.

I vacillate between feeling guilty that I’m complaining when this is working for me (I’m so close to having lost 21 kg which would be my first 10% off) and feeling sorry for myself that I’m struggling and suffering so much. I remember back when I initially did the Cambridge diet (VLCD) that we used to call it STF syndrome (*scared to fart) because things were just so messed up and I’m back there now. I also know that it’s not as simple as not taking my next shot – this stuff stays in your system for at least a fortnight after taking the shot, so it could be yet another 2 weeks of suffering even after stopping.

At this point in time, I don’t plan on stopping. I have to be honest with myself an admit that there is absolutely no chance I would have lost the weight I have without the Trulicity/Ozempic. I haven’t been in the 180s in over five years and as long as the weight keeps coming off, I’ll keep taking the shots.

But man, what I wouldn’t give for a break where I didn’t feel like crap and felt too scared to go too far from the bathroom.