non scale victory and another fall

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 176.5 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

The weigh in is from yesterday but I’m not risking getting onto the scales as I fell over again this evening. I don’t even know how – I was leaning over the side of the bed, foot planted firmly on the floor and the next thing I’m on the ground. Not gonna lie, I’m a little concerned. And how daft is it that my first thought was that I didn’t want to talk to the Doctor about it in case they wanted to take me off of Ozempic for some reason. I guess that’s me admitting that I couldn’t keep doing this without Ozempic, but is that a dangerous attitude to have? I mean, I still have about 100 kgs to lose so it’s not like I don’t have time to learn better habits, etc. But at the moment, without Ozempic I wouldn’t be losing the weight.

Anyhow, I have another Non Scale Victory, although I didn’t feel like it was a victory at the time. Because of how big I am, all of my clothes are literally just bought in the biggest size available. I changed into some shorts and they fit weird. Like, the elastic didn’t have to stretch for me to put them on, they feel really baggy, and they are kinda hanging onto the shelf of my butt to stay on. Initially I thought I was imagining things, but I got out of bed to go to the bathroom and they almost slid off of me, so I guess I can’t hide from myself that they are getting ‘big’ on me. I need to not think about it too much in case I freak myself out.

One of the most sobering things about falling over is how it has made me realise just how far I still have to go. I hate to think if I would have been able to get up off the floor if I hadn’t lost this weight – as it was, just getting onto my knees was excruciating, and I feel like I’ve gone 10 rounds with a heavyweight boxer. 70 lbs has made a huge difference – I know it has, even if I can only rarely see it. But just picturing falling over at my biggest makes me shiver in fear – we would have probably had to call an ambulance or something and that is a sobering thought.

Things seem to be going okay for Gidget at work (apart from some nail casualties and the joy of working in customer service), with the JC thing seeming to have calmed down. She has found out more about how people found out what was going on and it seems like JC went full on nuclear, deliberately screen-shotting the parts of their chat that made her look the guiltiest and then posting it on their stories and sending it to particular people. It just seems so needlessly mean and unnecessary. It made me feel angry all over again, but hopefully things will calm down now. All that remains is to get her stuff from them and it looks like she might have to chase that up. Argh, it all just seems like game-playing and messing with her.

Stripes has had a couple of appointments this week that are stressful, but hopefully after today, she can relax a bit. I know I freaked her out/scared her falling off the bed, and I hate the stress it puts on her. If it carries on, I will go to the doctor just to rule out anything awful.

And I still haven’t looked at the Mantra stuff. To be fair, I have been covered in tubigrips and arnica spray, so hardly in the right frame of mind to be doing the head stuff. I will get to it. I have an ARC that I need to read and review by next week, but apart from that I don’t have much of an excuse. I haven’t been to bed yet but my muse is kinda teasing me with a story so I might try to get that out and then hit the hay.