75lbs Lost!

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 173.5 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg

I don’t have a goal weight in mind – mainly because it’s been a very long time since I thought I could lose such a substantial amount of weight. One of the things they taught us in the weight management group that I was in was that we might never get to a ‘normal’ BMI and that the aim was to get to a weight that was healthy and we could maintain, stop all of the yo-yoing which is hard on the system.

Whenever I’ve plugged my height and weight into a tracker, generally speaking the ‘goal’ weight it suggests is around 75kgs. I don’t think that would be a good weight for me – I think that would be too low, that I would look gaunt maybe? But obviously, there’s a certain amount of fear seeing a number like that – part of which is how long it would take me to get there, how difficult it would be, etc.

Taking Ozempic has made me realise that I might need to decide on a weight that I want to stay at. And yesterday was the first time it actually occurred to me that I had less than 100 kgs to lose to get there. I know to most people, that would still be a horrendous number – to be honest, to me it feels like a horrendous number. But that shouldn’t take away from the achievement. I’ve lost over 75 lbs. This isn’t the first time I’ve managed that, but it definitely is the first time I’ve done it whilst eating normal food. Before this, it’s always been doing a VLCD and hasn’t been sustainable. Falling off the shakes wagon meant starting from scratch and dreading getting into ketosis, handling the headaches, the cravings for food. This is the first time I’ve lost that amount of weight whilst still being able to eat most foods. That’s momentous – that’s something that I would never have achieved without Ozempic.

I have also been thinking about my internal dialogue and I realised that I had assigned the current weight loss to me having COVID – not being able to taste food or enjoy eating at all. However, the last time I had COVID last year, I didn’t lose any weight at all. That should mean that my brain allows me to accept this as a bit of a win, right? Nope – once again, the internal voice is saying that not eating because of Ozempic/COVID is not a win, is not me working with what’s going on, is nothing to do with me – circumstances are making the weight loss possible, not my choices. I’m not sure why I can see that this voice is chatting shit and makes no sense, and yet allow it to affect how I feel about myself.

Maybe when I have some free brain cells and some energy, I can grab those Mantra worksheets and see if something in them will help me figure this all out.