Pre-Op Diet Day 21 and no emotional meltdown today - YET!

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 164.6 |

Pre-op Diet⟫ Day 21

Surgery Countdown⟫ 07 days

Well, any hope I had that the burgundy pink patches on my head might have faded overnight was unwarranted – I still look piebald. I think I might start to crochet myself a couple of beanies – not because I’ll get the chance to use the but to feel like I’m doing something useful! I’m getting more than a little concerned about the numbers on the scales – I know that going full liquid will help but it’s making me panic slightly about not losing enough for next week. Next week – yeah, saying that doesn’t help much with the panic.

I got a good night’s sleep, a lot of which was because Stripes let me ramble for nearly half an hour last night before we went to bed. I don’t even know if I was making anything resembling sense, but I did let out a lot. I woke up around 7 am but just wasn’t feeling like being awake so thought I might try to have a nap. Woke up around 3 pm so I guess I wore myself out having my meltdown yesterday. Managed to write about 1000 words on my writing day, whilst Book_grim handled the delivery of the new cooker. All looked like it was going well until the men had left and turning the cooker on tripped the electrics.

I’ll admit, I had thoughts of ‘we bought a new cooker for nothing’ but Stripes had the number of the delivery guys from when they contacted her to say that they had arrived, so Book_grim called them back and they sorted out. A combination of loose neutral wire or something like that? Regardless, the cooker was on and we had electrics so I’d call that a win. And of course, it’s the last night of me eating so I won’t get to enjoy any of the spoils of the new appliance.

Sent Marmee a message letting her know me and the girls would like to drop round and visit on Sunday. I don’t think I’m going to make a thing of visiting the sisters – I’ll hit up WhatsApp the morning of surgery and leave it as that. I don’t think any of us needs the emotional whirlwind or awkward conversation if we meet up. And I don’t plan on telling anyone else what’s happening – they can find out afterwards.

So tonight is my last night eating before surgery (unless it gets postponed or rescheduled) and my last night vaping. I guess I better make the most of it! We have the last two episodes of Cross to watch and things are definitely hotting up. So glad it’s already been green-lit for a second season as I’ve really enjoyed watching Aldis Hodge as Cross and Isaiah Mustafa in something other than Shadowhunters. I have a couple of books I want to read but I think my writing is done for the day.

I was going to do some work on my prompt for Swap of Joy on 1 million words but am not feeling particularly creative so I might have a look at that tomorrow. I think I want to try to get it done before next week so that I can cross something else off my list. Although it might be worth saving until after the surgery so that I can keep myself occupied.

I was wondering about how I would feel if the surgery got postponed and I’m not sure. On the one hand, I really just want to get it over and done with and move on to the next stage. On the other hand, it would enable me to lose a bit more weight beforehand; it might help me get a better handle on my stress and panic. I don’t think it would be good for the girls though – there is this feeling of holding our breath and waiting until we get passed this hurdle. That, and I could see it putting a bit of a pall over Christmas if it was hanging over us all. And just think, if it does happen next week, how much weight could I have lost by my birthday?

I had to choose what size I wanted for my Christmas hoody from the girls and was stumped. I said 4xl, then changed it to 3xl as I have absolutely no idea what size I’m going to be by then. I want something oversized but not comedic – maybe something I can wear with leggings? I know a lot of people report feeling colder post-surgery (I am absolutely freezing at the moment but I think that’s more about the snow than weight loss) so the thought of having something I can wrap myself up in and stay toasty warm sounds lovely. I think I’m going to say 4 xl. I think. ARGH!

I want to play a little Riders Republic before dinner so I’m gonna log off now. Hey, look at me – no meltdown yet today! One up from yesterday!