Pre Op Diet Day 7

SW ⟫ 207.7 | CW ⟫ 166 |

Ozempic: ⟫ 1 mg | Pre-op Diet:⟫ Day 7

I am over 50% of the way to the medical goal set for me. In the last week following the pre-op diet, I have lost 4.6 kgs. I’m trying to let that sink in.

The US Election results are disappointing and I feel for the friends I have that live over there. I cannot imagine what is going through their minds, how they are going to move forward – it’s all just a bit terrifying.

Last night I tried a SlimFast shake as my final ‘meal’. It was Raspberry and White Chocolate tasted very creamy, smelled a little like a MacDonald’s strawberry shake and seemed okay. However, from the time I drank it, my body and butt has been ‘bubbling’ – it’s the only way to describe it. I feel constantly on edge wondering if I’m about to have an incident which isn’t relaxing in the slightest.

In other news, my new blender and jimjams arrived. I’m a little wary of the pyjamas because they are a size 5xl. The shorts I am currently wearing are a 6xl and are sliding off me but they are old so are worn, the elastic is looser, etc so the new ones might not fit me at all. I’m panicking slightly as the replacement jimjams for hospital are also in a 5xl and I am worried they will be too tight. Stripes said if that turns out to be the case, I can just use the stuff that does fit me in hospital and shrink down into the new stuff, which makes sense and is something I should have thought of but I was too busy running around like a chicken with its’ head cut off.

The blender I went for in the end is the Nutribullet Portable which can be charged using a USB-C charger. It means that I can make shakes in my room which gives me choices when I wake up early, etc and I got it from Very so that I could do buy now, pay it back over 6 months. I wish I knew what the decision was about my PIP because it’s practically impossible to budget for anything at the moment. Surely they would have told me by now if they were turning it down? My next payment is due on Tuesday so less than a week to inform me, yet somehow it wouldn’t surprise me if it was cancelled and I have to scramble for money.

I’m really concerned about both girls at the moment. I know Gidget is struggling with the whole issue of surgery. She wants the best for me, but is also scared and angry that I am going through with it. I understand the anger – it must feel like I am choosing to do something potentially fatal when there are other ways for me to lose the weight. She understands that although the Ozempic has been working for me so far this year, there is no guarantee about access to the drug with shortages arising with little to no warning, and the weight loss was definitely slowing down. As for following a VLCD, I find them really difficult in the long term, so even though there is a part of me that has thought if I’d been doing meal replacements from the time I began Ozempic, I might have lost a heck of a lot more weight, the reality is that I might have given up a lot sooner as well.

Stripes just holds it all inside – she’s an absolute rock for everyone else, but I know she’s not sleeping well and it’s all in there. I wish there was someone she could trust to talk to, just to get it all out – not even to get any answers. We all know that until I actually have the operation, there’s no way of knowing how things are going to turn out, but it would do her so much good if she could just relieve some of the pressure.

I have no idea how Oldest is doing with things. We don’t talk that often – we communicate via WhatsApp and Instagram messages but rarely chat on the phone. I feel to blame for that a lot because I pushed too hard about Ozempic earlier in the year. To be fair, once we moved back to my home city and Oldest decided to remain with her Dad, there’s been a separation/divide. The issues we had with Gidget needing help from CAMHS, etc all added to Oldest’s decision to stay behind and you don’t go through the trenches with people without building a camaraderie that can’t be understood unless you’ve been in the middle of it all. I don’t even know how to begin bridging it and I guess part of me is worried that I’ve left it too late.

So that’s me – sat with a bubbly butt, down to my lowest weight in well over a decade and well on my way to reaching the medical goal set for surgery date. It’s just me and Stripes tonight, so I think a chilled evening of reading, watching London Kills and drinking the next three shakes before bedtime!