Saying goodbye to favourite jewellry

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 150.4 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

Approaching the end of February and there are a couple of NSVs to celebrate. Actually, celebrate is the wrong word because I’m having to say goodbye to some of my favourite rings – they are far too big for me now, even if I try to wear them on my thumbs. I have one ring that Book_grim gave me that fits my ring finger on my left hand – previously, I couldn’t wear it all because it was too small but now it fits. It feels a little snug but that might be because I’ve got used to rings sliding off of my fingers whereas this one comes off very easily but should stay put in general.

Another NSV is talking to my Mum – we had a lovely chat this morning, and I somehow managed to maintain my stance on not talking about numbers. I’m happy to talk about how I’m recovering from the surgery and my general health, but I don’t say how much weight I’ve lost (or not lost) and when she asks I just say my weight management team are happy with me. So I am managing to maintain the information diet and control the narrative – she can’t be spreading gossip about my progress or lack of if she doesn’t know what’s actually happening!

The scales have started moving downwards which is nice – obviously, it would be nicer if they were going down in leaps and bounds, but I’ll take the downward tragectory! Yesterday, I was really struggling – it constantly felt like I had something stuck in my throat. I don’t know if it’s because I was eating the chicken skewers that I meal-prepped and they were a bit dry? I think it’s because they are chicken breast mini fillets that have been pre-cooked, so when they are reheated, they are definitely more difficult to eat than the skewers I get from Iceland. I want to try again – I also bought a chill and garlic stir fry sauce to see if I can get in more vegetables.r

I’ve written about 3000 words of a chapter for my writing day and am happy with that. The plan is to settle down and do some reading for the rest of the day – I’ve already failed to meet the deadline for one of the ARCs I had, so it would be nice to get back into reading properly. I haven’t had anything to eat yet – I’m planning on finishing the 32 oz of Vimto protein water before tackling food. The cough is still pretty bad, although not feeling as phlegmy today. I also want to go for a walk but I’m a little scared because my hip is really paining me, but I can’t just not do anything physical because of that – if pain meant that I wasn’t moving around, I’d never do anything.

I still need to find my driving licence, especially if we’re going to look into the motability vehicle next month. If my review isn’t completed by March, I automatically receive PIP for another year so it will be time to look into a vehicle. I like the idea of being able to drive up to Asda and stuff like that – I haven’t been out in ages and feel like I’m turning into a hermit. Stripes and I have also looked into the possibility of water aerobics and the nearest swimming pool that does it is too far away for buses and probably too expensive using Ubers, so having a car would open up quite a few things for us both.

I guess I better get something to eat – I’ve just realised it’s nearly 1 pm and I’ve been awake since 7!!

Excess Body Weight vs Goal Weight

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 150.5 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

I got a response from the weight management team and it’s given me a lot to think about. They weren’t exactly the chattiest in their response: the initial email I got back from them said my message was blank and looked like a black square. My first thought was no-one thought to try to select all and see the writing? Then I reminded myself that not everyone has to have a dark contrast to make things easier to see and I should remember that.

So I re-sent it and the response I got was, well, not exactly effusive and I’m not 100% sure they answered the query but I’ll include the text.

”in terms of protein, if she is achieving 80g from food, then no need to have a protein shake. If managing less than this from food, then would be beneficial to include a shake to get to 80g or more.

In terms of weight loss, she has lost 26% of her excess bodyweight based on her referral weight when she attended post op group 20th Jan. This would suggest good progress.

Of course, weight loss can, and does, plateau after surgery but that doesn’t mean she won’t lose more.”

So it seems like it’s okay for me to be using the clear whey protein and that my weight loss is good – according to them. I think that I forgot that they are basing their calculations on excess body weight, not my entire body weight. I might want to get down to 175 lbs (roughly) but they are looking at 60% of my excess body weight which would take me to around 250 lbs.

It caused a lot of thoughts, like they’re not expecting me to get down to a BMI of 25, just get rid of a lot of my excess weight. When I would imagine most people undergoing surgery like this are thinking that the point is to get to a healthy BMI. I did use the bariatric bible to work out my excess weight and my ‘goal’ weight according to them would be 245 lbs.

But I want to exceed that – I want to get down to a ‘normal’ weight and not be considered fat any more. Which might be too high a goal. I guess watching 600 lb Life has given me an unrealistic view of what can be achieved after surgery. Or maybe I’m going to need to go back to GLP-1s to get down further than that.

I don’t want to be negative but this did affect me quite strongly and has had me thinking some dark thoughts. Like why did I go through with something as drastic as surgery if it’s not going to get me down to where I want to be. It’s been a case of reminding myself that before surgery, I was over 400 lbs – losing 200 lbs is no mean feat and I shouldn’t be knocking what can happen over the course of this year.

The scales have dropped a little – lowest weight registered by less than 0.4 kg – and I got a chunk of sleep last night. I guess I’m just confused as to what has changed. I have stopped having the mozzarella sticks with my chicken skewers; this weekend I did some meal prep and made about 9 chicken skewers after seasoning some mini chicken fillets and cooking them in the oven. Could the lack of mozzarella sticks have made that much difference? My calories are still around 1000 per day, including the clear whey protein, and the rest of the email said that I would be hearing from the dietician within the next three months, so I guess it’s right back to just following the programme, doing what I’m meant to be doing and trusting the process.

I did some yoga this morning – just some seated sun salutations – but I don’t think I’m going out for a walk. My left hip is causing me some major grief, and my left knee is also not happy. I worry that I am making excuses and could be doing more but I also don’t want to push myself to the point of injury. We did a quick Iceland shop which is due this afternoon, so I should be okay for MyProtein cheesecakes and chicken skewers – back to the grind I guess!

My chest is really tight, I’ve been bringing up phlegm and coughing, so I feel a bit of a wreck which hasn’t helped with my mood. We don’t have any plans for today – Book_grim had to go for another pee test up at the surgery, the shopping is due this afternoon, but apart from that I think it’s chill time. I don’t have any ARCs to read – I failed utterly to finish reading that anthology on time, so that’s a mark against me with GRR. I do have some regular books to read so I might try to knock one of those out today. Tomorrow is a writing day and I want to see if I can get a couple of chapters of Burning Love written because it’s going well.

Onwards into Monday.

Is Clear Whey Protein okay after a VSG for weight loss?

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 152.9 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

I caved in and emailed the weight management team asking for advice. Sare said that she had heard that drinking too much clear whey protein could lead to inflammation so I found myself wondering if I was doing myself a disservice by drinking so much of it. I also mentioned my lack of weight loss, although to be honest I can imagine they’ll tell me just to trust the process.

I took a dulcolax yesterday because I am still feeling very bunged up. Oh my Lord, last night it was like a tsunami. I was actually scared to go to bed in case I had an accident and considered sleeping without my CPAP mask on so that I could get out of bed in a hurry. I did sleep with it on but I feel like I slept very lightly and am tired. And the results of the dulcolax have continued into today, as well as incredibly smelly wind. Like almost gagging strength. It feels a bit like with Ozempic when nothing would happen for days and then there would be an outpouring, but in the meantime my body was pushing out the foullest smelling wind ever. I can barely stand to sit with myself and both Stripes and Book_grim were affected by it last night! I got an amazing photo of the pair of them shielding their noses from the stench!

I started my day cursing at the scales because they haven’t moved, despite the emptying. For breakfast, I changed it up a little and had strawberry light greek yoghurt with some raspberries and some mango puree – maybe the fresh fruit will help keep things moving until they settle down? I’m also sticking with drinking my Vimto protein water until I hear back from the Bariatric team. If they say I shouldn’t be having it – or not as much of it – then I can cut back, but in the meantime I want to keep meeting my protein goals.

I tweaked my hip and twisted my left knee during my walk with Book_grim yesterday and am suffering a little today. I did smother myself with muscle rub after my shower yesterday but the ache is still there. I’m not sure if I should go for another walk today or rest? I don’t want to wimp out at the first excuse but I also don’t want to make things worse.

And to top it all off, I feel like I’m going down with a cold!

Fed up and a couple of NSVs

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 152.5 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

I’ll start off with a NSV so that this entire post isn’t negative. Yesterday and today, I went for a walk around the car park outside the flat. Stripes kept me company, I didn’t use my crutches and I made it around twice before needing to come in and sit down. My black zip-up trainers are now loosely enough fitting that I don’t struggle at all to do them up. I want to keep going, upping the amount of time I spend walking around gradually. I also kept up with Stripes when she walked at her normal pace rather than my unsteady stagger.

I spoke to Jay about what I’m eating. We’re friends on NutraCheck and she has access to my diary so she had a look to see if she could spot any reason why I’m not losing weight. Apart from the lack of fresh produce and/or fruit and vegetables, she said that the amount I’m eating seems absolutely fine and she can’t see why the scales aren’t moving. Basically, that I need to trust the process and let it work – which, I know she’s right, but didn’t help me much mentally because I cannot get over how little progress I am making.

I am averaging between 700 and 1100 calories per day, with an emphasis on protein. I drink approximately 2 litres of protein water every day if not more. And I am not losing any weight at all. I want to cry – out of all of the people I have read about, it’s me that isn’t losing weight and feels like a failure.

I don’t want to bother the weight management team because what can they say? I can give them access to what I’m eating and how I’m logging it, but they have no way of knowing why my body is behaving the way that it’s behaving. So basically all that I can do is keep on keeping on, try to get in a bit more fresh produce and hope that my body starts behaving like a ‘normal’ body and releases some weight.

I am trying to make sure that I listen to my body’s cues – if I start burping when I’m eating, then I don’t take another bite. I am taking small bites, chewing at least 30 times and waiting at least 30 seconds between bites but often more. Back to basics. I have thought about going back to just liquid for a few days, like a reset but I don’t know if I could cope with it. I’m just so fed up of all of this – if I was cheating or doing something stupid, it would be one thing, but I’m not. I’m following the rules, eating what I should, moving my body more – why the hell isn’t this working for me?

I did receive the letter following up from the appointment on 20th January and it says that I have a slightly raised cholesterol level, so I called the Drs' surgery and they got me a telephone appointment for today (Saturday). The doctor I spoke to didn’t actually have access to my blood test results, apologised for the faff and said that he would request the results be transferred to my patient profile and then they would get back to me.

I finished another hat and infinity scarf and Book_grim is now the proud owner of a dusky pink set of warm-wear. Now I just need her to get her own pair of gloves so she can stop borrowing mine! I’m going to make some matching hats for my nephew, his fiancee and their two daughters and that should keep my hands busy and hopefully give me something different to focus on. I got a ball of cable chunky from Home Bargains but I didn’t realise just how super-chunky this stuff was. There was no way I was going to be able to make anything substantial out of it, so I ended up making a catnip pillow for the cats! Ah well, they seemed to appreciate it so I can’t complain.

I gave the girls their Galentine’s presents yesterday and I think they were pleased. I have a foot pack on and after posting this, I’m going to see if I can finish the ARC I’ve been reading and plan to do a review tomorrow. Other than that, I have no plans to do anything – walking a couple of times around the car park might not seem like a big deal to most people, but I am shattered. Maybe it’s because I’m not using my crutches? Anyway, I figured it was better than potentially upsetting the bitch-stitch using the resistance bands and every little bit of motion helps. I hope.

Feeling Meh!

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 152.6 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

Well to say that I am disappointed in the scales is minimalising things more than a little. I can’t believe that at this point in time, I haven’t even managed to lose 1 kg in February. It’s driving me slightly insane and I am STRUGGLING.

I have moved onto more ‘solid’ food – I am eating 1 chicken skewer and 2 mozarella sticks on average per day, as well as having protein pancakes and yoghurt for breakfast, so perhaps it’s the quantity of food that I’m consuming? I have decided that I need to get back to basics: three meals per day, chew each mouthful at least 20 times, no meal lasting longer than 20 minutes – basically rereading all of the original instructions. I finally received my letter from my appointment on 20th January and apparently my cholesterol is raised so they want me to book in with my doctor to see if they want me on some medication. I might also look into what can cause high cholesterol to see if it’s a particular thing that I’m eating.

I’ve managed to get quite a few different clear whey protein powders to try so that if the Vimto becomes unavailable, I still have choices. I don’t know – basically I woke up this afternoon (after 12) and just felt meh and the feeling hasn’t lifted. It’s meant to be a writing day and I think that I might kill someone in an attempt to feel better. Ah, the joy of being a fiction writer!

Stripes is dropping off Vee’s birthday present – decided to gift her a new jigsaw puzzle because she didn’t say what she actually wanted and I know she does puzzles. I think Book_grim is waiting on a delivery – a new water bottle to replace the one she left in Sainsburys. And I have a chapter to write for ‘Burning Love’ and then an ARC to read. I should hopefully be able to get through today without literally killing someone but perhaps I should minimalise my contact with people just to be sure!

I used Microlax again this morning and feel a little less bloated but then I dread to think what the scales would have said before I did that! God, does this ever get easier? The bitch stitch is still causing issues, I feel like I have so little control – despite its’ side effects, Ozempic feels like it was SO much easier!

Review: X-tone Fitness Clear Whey Protein - Pineapple

X-tone Fitness Clear Whey Protein - Pineapple

My first impressions of this was that it was very zingy! Definitely identifiable as pineapple although it does have a slightly artificial aftertaste. Seems a little high in calories compared to other clear whey protein I’ve had, but that might just be because I’ve become very aware of how much more that I am eating now. It is balanced by a decent protein content.

It was easy to blend using the hand whisk, but Stripes said that it had a lot of froth and ended up sieving it into my cup because she was wary of lumps of unmixed powder. There actually weren’t any lumps and like I said, it was a nice refreshing zingy drink that I can imagine I will very much enjoy come the summer! I liked it enough to order the apple version to see if it's as good and Stripes found it for me in Home Bargains.

Review: BodyFuel Blue Raspberry Beef Isolate Protein Powder

BodyFuel Blue Raspberry Beef Isolate

I was a little worried that I would be tasting cold beef using this, but I saw it whilst shopping at Home Bargains and decided to give it a go because I was struggling to get my hands on my favourite Clear Whey Protein.

This has a very fruity flavour – not sure I’d say raspberry, but definitely fruity. Maybe tropical is a better description!

It makes up easily – whether using a hand whisk or a blender. There isn’t a lot of froth no matter how you mix it compared to other brands that I have tried. I would consider getting it again if I can’t get my favourites – it’s not my favourite taste but not offensive, although I would imagine some people might find it too artificial or plasticky tasting.

Review: MyProtein Vimto Clear Whey Protein Powder

MyProtein Vimto Clear Whey Protein

During my first post-op meeting with the Bariatric Team, I was I a group of about ten people. We were all at different stages post-op so were able to pick up little tips from people who were further ahead.

Someone mentioned the Vimto Clear Whey Protein and I decided to give it a try – I had been drinking the Vieve Protein water but it was getting expensive and I wasn’t enjoying the flavours. I have personally found the Vimto to be a game-changer in terms of getting in enough fluids and upping my protein intake.

Very good Vimto flavour, very light and refreshing, it is better when made using a blender rather than a hand whisk. It does froth up quite a lot so you have to wait for the fizzing and frothing to calm down before you can pour it into your cup. In my 1.2 l cup, I can get in 800 mls with lots of ice.

My biggest problem has been getting hold of it! I originally ordered it from Boots and got three tubs of 251 g for £30 (individually they would come to £47.25 as of 10/02/25) but it was out of stock when I went to order more.

I visited the MyProtein website and got very confused because they were selling Vimto Collagen Protein Powder, which I believe is something different and I found it all very confusing. Transpires that the clear whey protein is out of stock on the MyProtein site so I went back to refreshing the Boots website until I got lucky! I ordered six tubs for £60 and am just hoping that (a) I don’t go off of it before I use all six tubs and (b) that it’s still in stock when it’s time to make my next purchase!

Review : MyProtein Salted Caramel Cheesecakes

MyProtein Salted Caramel Cheesecakes

I bought these so that I could have a ‘cake’ on my birthday. Thick doesn’t even begin to describe the consistency – it was like New York Baked Cheesecake but even thicker! I wouldn’t have managed this during the puree stage, and possibly not even during the mashables stage.

It has a lovely texture in the mouth with a very subtle salted caramel taste running through it without it tasting artificial. I’m ten weeks post-op and barely managed to finish the whole thing as a full meal. It was very filling, tasty and definitely satisfied my desire for a sweet treat. I can definitely see me getting more of these. One word of warning, they take approximately six hours to defrost in the fridge, so make sure you plan ahead if you want one!

Review: UFit White Chocolate Protein Drink

Ufit White Chocolate Protein Shake

I’ve seen these recommended on the Bariatric Surgery subreddit and various YouTube videos so I asked for one as part of my birthday hamper.

Maybe it’s because I had it luke-warm/room temperature, but I am not a fan. The white chocolate taste was faint and very artificial; there was a slightly cloying aftertaste that coated my mouth and throat in a most unpleasant manner, and the burps and wind began almost immediately. It also made my stomach rumble loudly and threateningly although as yet, I haven’t had diarrhoea so maybe it’s not going to get that bad.

I suppose as a quick hit of protein on the go, it would be alright, but I can’t see me having another one if I have a choice about it – shame, because I really liked the idea of these.

Review of some MyProtein Products

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 151.4 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

It’s my birthday tomorrow so I got myself some birthday food as we discovered that MyProtein have a small product range at Iceland. I have tried a few of the products so here are my reviews so far.

MyProtein Salt and Pepper Chicken Skewers

You get four in a packet and I’m not sure what I was expecting but these things look like humungous chicken thighs that have been skewered! It was really nice to sink my teeth into something so solid – I hadn’t really realised that even though I’m meant to be transitioning to normal food, a lot of what I eat is kinda ‘soft’ – like Babybel, cheese strings, etc. Stripes cooked my dinner in the air fryer and it took less than fifteen minutes to make. The skewers are not too heavily seasoned but definitely flavourful and you get a lot on one skewer. I’m so glad I decided to only start small because I managed a third of one for my dinner along with a mozarella stick! Because of how solid it was, it made it easy to get my 30 chews in without it feeling like it turned into mulch and it didn’t ‘stick’ in my throat or chest. I finished the skewer later in the day and it tasted just as nice reheated.

MyProtein Cheesy Mozarella Sticks

I was a little wary of these because obviously they’re coated and I haven’t had anything even resembling bread crumbs since well before surgery. They were nice – not too greasy but very cheesy, didn’t stick in my throat or make me feel sick and were lovely accompanying the skewer. I managed one for dinner and had the second one later on. I will say, when it was reheated in the microwave, it turned into less of a mozarella stick and more of a pancake as it lost all of it’s shape but that didn’t affect the taste in the slightest!

MyProtein Protein Pancakes – cocoa and original flavours

I wanted to try something a little different for breakfast because I have just been eating cheese strings and Babybels and I wasn’t sure if they were having a detrimental effect on my stomach, so Stripes originally picked these up at Tesco. I added a tub of Mueller Light Greek Style yoghurt in coconut and vanilla flavour, with a couple of teaspoons of mango puree on top. The pancake didn’t taste of much but it did provide some nice texture – spongey, not too hard, but quite filling. With the yoghurt and puree, it definitely was a full meal – I can almost manage it all in one go but it does take some time, which is probably good because yoghurts can be a bit of a slider food on their own. I’ve since tried the cocoa flavour, and again it doesn’t have a particularly strong taste but provides a nice base for the yoghurt. I am thinking about getting some pancake mix to see how that turns out, but we shall see. You get four in a packet for around £2.35 and they last in the fridge for a week, so two packets will more than cover seven days worth of breakfast, which I think is quite a decent price.

I placed an order for some Galentine’s presents for the girls and included the BodyFuel Clear Beef Protein Isolate in Blue Raspberry and I’ll see how that tastes after I’ve finished the MyProtein Vimto (which is absolutely lovely and very thirst quenching as well as providing a decent chunk of protein).

Microlax Review and mini update

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 151.4 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

It’s ten weeks to the day that I had surgery and my weight loss as of today is 13 kg, which is just under 29 lbs. Sare just sent me a very timely reminder that I lost over 100 lbs before the surgery so need to stop mithering about the rate of loss – I’m doing good and I need to own that.

I finally gave in and called the weight management team at the hospital about the pain under my left breast. I left a message with my hospital number and mobile, asking whether I should try to get in to see my GP or do something else, so I guess I’ll wait to hear from them. It’s been getting progressively worse over the course of the week – so much so, I have to press a pillow against it when I sit up or get out of bed because sometimes it can be quite sharp.

Today, I tried Microlax for the first time – I have been feeling a bit bunged up and really wanted to try something gentle because I don’t want to let it go too long. I bought it from Amazon here and it cost me £13.15 for four of them. I was more than a little nervous – I didn’t want any accidents, especially with the shower out of commission. I found instructions via google because my packet was in a foreign language and didn’t come with any! Basically, you twist the cap and pull it off, then squeeze a little so that it lubricates the nozzle. I don’t know if I would have found insertion as easy before losing some weight due to needing to do some slight contortions but it went in smoothly, with no issues. The instructions said results could happen any time between 2 and 30 minutes so I decided to stay put just in case.

Within about five minutes, things were happening and to be honest, it was easy. No straining or pain, it wasn’t a violent evacuation and no stomach ache. I stayed on the toilet for another five minutes or so just to be sure, but definitely feeling better for using it. I had more success with this than with Dulcolax which I have used in the past and wouldn’t hesitate to use it again.

The guy came to have a look at the shower pump and it says it’s dead and needs to be replaced. We’re down as an emergency and it looks like it will be sometime next week. I can’t wait – I feel so grimy not being able to shower!

I think I’m going to try to write another chapter on my story and then do some reading!

Progress Pics and February so far

SW⟫ 207.7 | CW⟫ 150.9 | IGW ⟫ 139.5

Transition to Normal Food⟫ Ongoing

Well, as long as I don’t chicken out, I’m about to do something really flippin’ scary and post some progress pictures. I’m blurring my face – not sure why but there we have it. I didn’t start taking proper progress photos of my body until the end of October when I knew the surgery was happening so I don’t have any comparable pictures of me at my biggest, which was just shy of 458 lbs. As of this morning, I weigh about 338 lbs and I would ultimately like to get down to around 175 lbs although I know that even with surgery, that might not be something I can attain.

Feeling very vulnerable and very scared. Originally when I placed the photos side by side, I couldn’t see a difference but looking at them more logically rather than emotionally, I can see some changes. My butt is smaller, the bulges are getting smaller and the bit of flab that is hanging over the edge of my sports bra in the first picture is definitely smaller. I keep reading people say to take the progress photos because they are irrefutable proof that the changes are happening, but I’m not sure I agree with that at the moment.

I did stop myself going down the rabbit hole of doing side by side comparisons with ALL of the photos – we take them front, back and both sides – so there’s that I suppose. I need to have an ‘official progress photos’ outfit to make comparison easier from now on.

So how has February been? Well, variable. I am feeling a lot of the blahs – not wanting to read, knit or play video games. We’ve got into jigsaws in a big way – well, I have. I’ve just bought four new puzzles and a board to do them on – it keeps us busy and I guess it keeps my brain working. Food-wise, I seem to be in a rut. For quite a while I was literally having cheese strings, Babybel and fish as well as drinking a lot of protein clear whey protein. My current favourite flavour is Vimto but I am looking at cheaper, different versions that help with getting my protein numbers up. I am trying to branch out – Stripes bought me some protein pancakes and yesterday I had one with some yoghurt and mango puree. The pancake didn’t taste of anything much, but it was most likely the most solid food I’ve eaten since surgery. Well, until last night anyway.

One night a week, I order take out. It’s to give Stripes a break from doing most of the cooking and since I can’t exactly take over the kitchen and do a slap up spread for everyone, this is the best that I can do. Last night we had kebabs and I ordered a chicken kebab with extra salad in a pitta bread. I didn’t have any of the pitta bread – a deliberate choice – and I aimed for the chicken and salad. I’ve realised that I am still not listening to my body cues – I felt the constriction, but still pushed myself to eat more of the chicken than I needed. So I’ve decided that from now on, I’ll order the take out for the girls and just have something from home. I don’t want to mess this up just because I sometimes feel like it’s not working, or I’m bored, or just – whatever reasons my monkey brain comes up with.

That’s progress though, right? That I recognise it as a dangerous temptation and removing it from my options.

I’m struggling a bit with BMs – they’re not solid but they’re not diarrhoea and I’m taking ages in the bathroom with not much in the way of results. I guess that won’t be helping me feel good generally but I’m not sure what do to about it. I don’t know if I want to try one of those Miralax things in case it causes a dramatic reaction, but maybe that’s what I need? A good clear out of my system, similar to how it used to happen when I was taking Ozempic. It’s possibly happening because of the sheer amount of cheese that I’m consuming – string cheese and Babybel might be good as a protein snack, but I’m not sure they’re doing my insides much good. I want to say that I’ll cut down on them, or even cut them out altogether for a while, but then what do I eat instead?

I’m still not managing three meals per day and have only just got my calories above 500 per day. It’s a difficult one – maybe I need to have another look at that bariatric cook book I bought. Eggs are okay but I don’t find them comfortable to eat every day. Maybe I should try to have a pancake with yoghurt for breakfast, a chicken breast for lunch and then fish for dinner? I might have a chat with Stripes about it, see what she thinks.

I haven’t tried the Leslie Sansone walking video again since the first time and nor have I done the resistance bands. I have pain in my hip from when I first tried doing these and as I am still suffering with a dull pain in my main ‘bitch’ stitch, I don’t want to try to get down on the floor and do some rowing using the bands. However, I do try to shuffle around the flat regularly so I am still moving. I think I need to do more – maybe just do the resistance bands rowing whilst on the bed? I know it won’t be as steady, but it will cause me less pain I hope. I think I want to try to do them every other day initially. I did do some seated yoga this morning so there’s that.

We have someone from the council coming sometime tomorrow to have another look at the shower pump, which will hopefully sort that out. It would be nice if it could get sorted because I am longing for a shower! Book_grim is feeling better – she has an ultrasound booked for 16th February and needs to book in for blood tests. Stripes has to book in for blood tests as well, and her Dr is sending her for a full work-up, just to be sure everything is working the way that it should. I haven’t heard anything from the dieticians about my next appointment, but I know it should be within the next three months so I’m not worried at this point in time. It does feel a little like we’ve just been set free and told to lose weight. I know they gave us the Bariatric booklet but it feels a little light in terms of support, but that may just be me feeling that.

It’s my birthday on Sunday and I basically asked the girls for a Home Bargains haul! I don’t need anything and there’s no point in buying clothes because (a) I don’t go anywhere and (b) I have no idea what size to ask for, so there’s that.

I think we’re all caught up at what’s been happening in February so far. I want to try to write another chapter of my latest fanfic and then do some reading as I have about four ARCs to get through, so that’s all for now.